Fuck. Like I needed one more thing to worry about.
Roman ignores it all. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t see it or—no, he has to see it. He’s smart and observant; he notices everything. He’s just choosing to ignore it, then, either too angry to care or just not caring in general.
I wish I could say the same, but I do care. I don’t want either of us kicked out for this, of all things.
Although I probably should be more worried about everyone thinking I’ve, you know, stolen Tandy’s magic.
But that wasn’t me. I’m sure of it.
If I really could steal someone else’s power for my own, then I’d still be able to levitate, wouldn’t I? And I can’t. Every time I “borrow” a power from someone else, it never seems to last very long. I want to scream at them use your heads! Use some goddamn common sense! I didn’t do it!
But none of the students looking at me suspiciously want to listen to reason right now. They’re scared, and they want an enemy they can recognize, an enemy they can latch onto and attack. It’s probably more comforting to blame me than to live with the idea that we don’t know where these attacks are coming from or how to stop them.
Roman doesn’t take me to his office like I expect, but to the dorms—to his room. He leads me in gently, but the moment the door closes, he grabs me and hauls me to him, kissing me.
I gasp into his mouth, grabbing at his shoulders, surrendering for a moment because, oh God, I need this. I want to forget everything, let the rest of the world disappear for a while and just lose myself in Roman—
But…
I pull back, pushing him away slightly. He stops at once, his touch gentling, becoming less frantic.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice rough. “I shouldn’t—you’ve just had a rough time, I shouldn’t—”
“No, no, it’s not about that. You’re not taking advantage of me or anything.”
God, no. I appreciate that he’s checking though, that his first thought is to take care of me, and a rush of warmth fills me. Damn it, when did I become such a sap for him? For all of the men?
“It’s that…” I blow out a breath. “Tamlin knows. I saw it in her eyes, and I’m sure by now a lot of the students know, or they suspect at least. And we can’t—we have to be careful—”
Roman shakes his head, a growl working its way up out of his throat. “No,” he says. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. “I don’t care.”
“You can’t not care—”
He kisses me again, stealing my breath, and damn it, I love and hate that I’m such a sucker for him. I kiss him back, grabbing at him, letting him slide his hands up underneath my clothes. His touch sears my skin, setting me ablaze in the best way. Just like it always has.
“We really should stop,” I murmur into his mouth, but God knows I’m not actually making a move to stop him, and my voice comes out breathy and desperate. “We should… we’ll be in so much trouble…”
“I don’t care,” he repeats, conviction echoing in his voice.
He should though. We both should.
It’ll be bad enough if it comes out that he’s sleeping with a student and has been for months, but when that student is the one everyone thinks is a magical thief? And hell, maybe I am—somehow—although I don’t feel like I have Tandy’s or Tom’s or any of the others’ magic inside me. I truly don’t think I stole anyone’s power, not even by accident. But then again, I’m Unpredictable. The whole nature of our magic means we’ve often got no clue what’s going on with it.
Roman sleeping with a notorious student, a student with the kind of reputation I’ve got right now—it could destroy his career. He could be fired, at the very least. I’m terrified at the thought of it.
But I can’t make us stop.
His hands, his mouth, his body on mine, his body in mine—I’m addicted to it. I want him in a way I’ve never quite felt before, a way that borders on need.
I want to shove away everything that just happened, to forget about my panic attack and the claustrophobia of having my classmates surround me and attack me. I want to shove away the paranoia, anger, and helplessness.