three months, and sheds tears when they wake up from their coma—but even I realize saying that in front of his parents will be like setting off a bomb.
But it still fucking hurts to be dismissed by him like this. More than I would’ve thought, honestly. He didn’t even call me his friend, and I think that crushes me the most. The way he just introduced me to his parents makes it sound like we’ve only run into each other in the halls a few times, nothing more.
I thought… Fuck. After I woke up from my coma, I really thought there was something between us. We haven’t put it out there in words, but then, neither of us is all that good at that. And I know I spent a long time—all of last year—pushing the guys away, every single one of them, but I thought things had changed. I’ve been opening up, things have been moving forward, we’ve all been getting closer. I hoped…
And Dmitri can’t say anything?
Dmitri, who’s never worried about saying anything to anyone in his life? Dmitri, who goads me into fighting him in Combat class and talks back to the teachers and can clear a path through a crowded room just by radiating intimidating power? That Dmitri isn’t being honest with his parents about who I am? Not even to acknowledge we know each other beyond casual acquaintanceship?
I maintain my smile, just barely. Thank God for my bartending job; it’s the only way I’m able to hide my emotions.
Is Dmitri really that ashamed of me? Of… us?
“It’s so nice you two could come all the way out here to visit,” I say. I’m not sure where his family actually lives, but I know they’re super rich, Russian, and I heard something once about a second home in Paris, so wherever they’re from, I doubt it’s near here.
“Mm, yes,” his mother says. She doesn’t offer up her name, or her hand for me to shake. In fact, she’s smiling fixedly like I’m a particularly dirty, mud-covered dog that she doesn’t want me touching her nice, clean dress. “We thought it best to see what kind of place Dmitri has had to put up with. What kind of… people.”
Great. Nice to know she thinks I’m dirt under her heel.
Screw this. I’m not putting up with this bullshit for another second.
“Well, it was great to meet you,” I blurt out with false cheer. “I hope you guys enjoy your visit! Thanks for introducing me, Dmitri.”
Yeah, it’s a passive aggressive little dig at him, but I don’t give two shits right now.
I smile at them, wave, and then walk off. I force myself to keep my steps measured and slow, my breathing even, until I make my way across the quad and into Wellwood Hall.
That’s when I finally let go.
Chapter 12
The school building is quiet since so many students are outside greeting their families or their friends’ families. I brace one hand against the wall and try to control my breathing, but I can’t seem to get myself to stop gasping. I’m horrified and ashamed of the way tears prick at my eyes.
Dmitri and I aren’t—Jesus, it’s not like he proposed to me under the moonlight or anything. We haven’t been passionately dating for months. We’ve barely even started on this… this thing between us, whatever it is.
But that makes it even worse, somehow. Like he’s killed a tiny plant before it even had a chance to grow.
“Elliot!”
It’s Dmitri, calling for me in hushed tones.
What the fuck does he want?
I push away from the wall and start walking again, blinking hard as I straighten my spine. “Fuck off.”
Dmitri grabs me by the wrist. “Come here.”
I yelp in anger, but he drags me into an empty classroom, closing the door behind me. I yank my hand back.
“What the hell was that?” I demand. “I’m just your classmate? Not even a fucking friend, but a classmate? If you really don’t want anything to happen between us, fine! That’s great! But you should’ve said something right around the time you were making goo-goo eyes at me and kissing me like I was fucking Sleeping Beauty. Or do you do that with everyone you just want a quick fuck from? Although—gotta say—if a quick fuck is all you wanted, you’re moving slower than the goddamn continental drift!”
Dmitri glares at me. “I’m sorry, am I being insulted because I didn’t just bend you over and fuck you the first chance I had?”