Dmitri’s still got his arm around me as we join Cam and Asher. I keep thinking I should put some distance between us, but I can’t bring myself to do it. His hand on my shoulder, the feel of his body beside mine, is the only thing keeping me upright at the moment.
I just can’t get over how Tom looked. The way he screamed. How… how broken he looked. How utterly destroyed.
The whole reason I came to this school in the first place is because Aurora, the representative from the Circuit, told me it was that or have my magic stripped away from me. I didn’t care too much about my magic at the time; I was more worried about being cut off from Maddy.
Magical society and non-magical society don’t really mix. Most ordinary humans don’t even know magic exists, and the people from magical families who end up without any powers tend to sort of fade into a weird middle ground between the magical and non-magical worlds. And I didn’t want to leave Maddy with this whole part of her life that she couldn’t really share with me. I didn’t want to be on the outside of her world like that.
So instead, I opted to keep my magic.
Now that I’ve had it and used it for a year, it’s hard to imagine my life without it. Yeah, my powers have been a pain in the ass most of the time, but… I’ve grown to accept them as a part of me. I used to hate my sonic boom for how it could hurt people, for the dangerous things I could do, but now I’m oddly attached to it. If anything, Johnson’s crazy ramblings at the end of the Trials made me determined to stay an Unpredictable and to be proud of that status, not to let some asshole convince me I’m a freak.
I mean, I am a freak, but not because of my magic.
…that joke sounded better in my head.
Now I can’t help but wonder—is this what Aurora and the Circuit would’ve had in store for me if I’d decided not to go to school and to get my magic removed instead? Would I have been left screaming in agony, terrified and hurt like a small child?
What the actual fuck?
“Jesus,” I whisper as we step out of Wellwood Hall into the cool fall air. “Is that what having no magic feels like? Is that what the Circuit wanted to do to us?”
My stomach churns. I’m pissed. I want to find Aurora and get in her face and demand to know what the hell she was thinking even offering that to me or any magic user. But more than that—I’m scared.
“No. It’s not supposed to be like that,” Asher murmurs, though his face is pale and his voice lacks conviction. “There are ways of removing it gently, or dampening it so much that it basically becomes non-existent. But both of those options don’t destroy the root of the magic. They don’t affect your soul.”
“Yeah. Tom’s magic was—ripped out of him.” Cam looks like he wants to barf as he says the words.
The sun is shining brightly, and the day isn’t all that cold, but a shiver works its way down my spine anyway. My footsteps slow then stop.
Ripped out?
“You okay, Sin?” Cam whispers, slipping an arm around my waist.
Dmitri lets go of me, but he’s still standing right next to me as Asher takes my hand, squeezing it gently. We all huddle together like that as we watch Tamlin leave Wellwood Hall and walk quickly toward the infirmary.
“That’s—” I swallow, needing to hear it again to be absolutely sure. “That’s not how the Circuit takes people’s magic?”
“No,” Cam says, shaking his head. Dmitri and Asher are quiet, but neither of them look all that happy. “There’s a much gentler way to do it. What happened up there… that was like someone performing surgery with a butter knife instead of a scalpel.”
“It never feels pleasant,” Dmitri adds shortly. “My family wanted me to get mine removed at first. They talked to several people who’d had their magic taken away. They said it doesn’t feel good no matter how carefully they do it. It’s like losing a piece of yourself; you feel this empty space inside. You’re fine, but you’re not the same, and you can tell.”
“But how did it happen to Tom? That’s what I want to know,” Cam says. “How did someone do that? I mean, shit,