wave of frustration nearly bowling me over. “I need to be in better shape, need to regain the ground I lost. I can’t let Johnson have this victory over me. I don’t want to start classes feeling tired all the time or not being able to fight the way I used to! I could kick Dmitri’s ass before, and now… look at me!”
My voice cracks a little, and I can feel my eyes getting hot. I swallow quickly and look away. I didn’t mean for all of that to come out. Cam doesn’t need to bear the brunt of my messy emotions. But it’s true—I missed out on my entire summer because of that bigoted jackass Johnson. I could’ve died if I’d gotten hit by a worse spell, and he told me people like me were filthy and unclean. I can’t let him win.
Cam takes my hands and pulls me into a hug, his bright blue eyes shining down at me with sympathy. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re going to get there. Just the fact that you’re standing and walking around—that’s a victory. You aren’t weak, or not good enough, or any of that other shit for taking it easy and being smart.”
I hug him back, letting myself melt against the hard planes of his body for a few seconds before pulling back and sighing. “Yeah, tell that to the others. You’re all hovering over me like I’ll break, even Dmitri.”
“Ah, Dmitri’s just on edge because it’s our third year. Last year before graduation and all that. And there’s a parents’ weekend for third-years scheduled right after midterms. It’s a ways off, but I think he’s already dreading it.”
I remember Asher telling me he went to visit his family during the summer, but I don’t think Dmitri did. “Is his family really that bad?”
Cam shrugs. “He was glad for an excuse to stay away this summer, I’ll put it that way.”
I get that. My dad… well, I was ten when he left us, so I haven’t actually seen or spoken to him in thirteen years. There’s a lot I’ve probably forgotten about him in that time. But what I do remember, more than anything, is how he skipped out on us. Left Mom to take care of two little girls all on her own. And then when Mom was sick and dying, did he call even once? Did he come to look after his own children and make sure they were okay?
Nope. I raised Maddy for the last five years. Not him.
Sometimes he sends a birthday card, usually on the wrong day. It’s like he’s purposefully mocking us with how little he cares.
I wonder if he’d show up to the parents’ weekend thing in my third year if I invited him. I hate that I kind of wish he would—just so I could rub it in his face how well I’m doing, how well Mads and I are both doing, without him.
Yeah, I defeated a rogue magic user and won the Trials, and it was all without your help, Dad.
There’d be a kind of sick satisfaction in that.
“Did Dmitri have a good summer then?” I ask. I’m not about to dump all my father issues onto Cam or anyone else, thanks.
“Yeah.” He grins, cocking his head. His blue eyes sparkle in the morning light, and his blond hair is a little longer than it was in the spring. “I’m pretty sure he did. We all did, in a way, even though it was awful in another way. I’m sorry you missed out on it. We all got closer—especially Roman. The guy’s intimidating as fuck sometimes, but he’s really great. I never thought about how small our age gap is before. He acts so much older a lot of the time, but he’s only twenty-eight.”
Dmitri’s twenty-six, Cam and Asher are twenty-four, and I’m twenty-three, so it’s only a five year age gap at most between Roman and the rest of us.
And he’s already a professor. Just goes to show how determined and skilled he is.
“Yeah, he does seem older,” I agree with a fond smile.
“It’s all the mysterious brooding.” Cam stares off into the distance, clearly imitating Roman. “I must… go out… and brood on the moors… like the hero of a Brontë novel…”
I throw my head back and laugh because that’s a damn good impression. Cam grins, pleased to have broken me out of my funk, and then he pulls me in and kisses me—like he can now, and he wants