Theirs to Protect - Julia Sykes Page 0,51

who delivered the beating. I’m the one who killed him.

“But I let you believe it was your fault. Because I saw how disgusted you were with yourself, and I couldn’t bear for you to look at me with that kind of loathing. I let you hate yourself instead of me.”

I was the worst kind of coward. Selfishly, I hadn’t wanted to lose Joseph, so I hadn’t explained to him that all the horror he felt should’ve been directed at me. But I got what I deserved, because he left me anyway. It was a miracle that he and Ashlyn were with me now, but that’d only happened because I’d hunted him down and dragged him back to New York. Then, I’d kidnapped Ashlyn and held her captive.

I was the villain in our love story. They just couldn’t see it. And I’d never pointed it out, because I couldn’t bear to lose them.

Looking directly at their shocked faces was almost unbearably painful, but I forced myself to maintain eye contact. They deserved the truth, and here it was at last. I had endangered our lives with my secret plans. Now, I owed them honesty. They’d both begged me for honesty. They’d asked me to share my burdens with them, and I’d refused.

“I don’t deserve you.” The truth cracked in the back of my throat. “And now you know it, too.”

Silent tears ran down Ashlyn’s cheeks, and she held my hand so hard that her fingernails bit into my skin.

“Marco, no,” Joseph whispered, as though he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. “No, that’s not true. You do deserve to be with us. You’re part of our family. We love you. I love you, Marco.”

The words hit me right in the heart. He’d never said them to me before. Not like that. Not with the weight of a vow.

“I love you too,” I rasped. “I love you both. But I’m not good for you.”

“Stop it,” Ashlyn hissed, her slight body shaking. “Stop it right now. I thought we’d promised each other forever, but you’re still keeping this barrier between us. Even though we’ve begged you not to.” Her shoulders shuddered on a sob, and she gasped for breath. “Are you looking for a way out? Is that what this is? Joseph loves you. I love you. Don’t you love us?”

Something shattered inside me. I reached for her. “Babygirl…”

“No!” She caught my hand, restraining me with a featherlight hold. “I want an answer. Do you love us, Marco?”

“Of course I love you.” The words burned in my throat, and my eyes stung. “I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anything. I love our family; I love our lives in Boston. I love the man I can be when I’m with you. But sometimes…” I choked on the admission, but I forced it out. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just pretending to be that man. Like that’s who I would’ve been in another life, but I’m too fucked up for it to be real. I’ve hurt people. I’ve done terrible things. I’m scared that I’ll end up hurting you, too.”

Ashlyn’s dainty hands cupped my cheeks, holding my face with aching gentleness as she peered into my eyes. Her warm tears fell on me, splashing against the wetness on my own cheeks.

“Would you ever hurt Joseph?” she asked.

I fell into the glittering facets of her sapphire gaze. “Never,” I swore.

“Would you ever hurt me?”

“I’d die before I hurt you.” The truth left my lips, immediate and absolute.

Her smile lit up my world. “I know. Now, do you believe it too?”

I brushed her hair back from her cheek in a reverent caress. “Ashlyn…”

“Yes or no?” Joseph prompted, his voice deep and stern. “Do you believe you won’t hurt us?”

I met his blazing blue stare. “I want to believe it.” My voice was tight with longing. “More than anything. I want to be that man.”

“You are,” he swore. “The life we’re building for ourselves in Boston—that’s where you belong. With us. We’re family now.”

My eyes burned. “You’ve always been my family, Joseph. I would never hurt you.” The words resonated in my soul, and I finally allowed myself to trust in the good in me. “I’ll stop holding myself back. I love you both. I’m sorry.”

“That’s enough apologies.” Ashlyn’s melodic voice hitched on a final, soft sob as we released the last of our volatile emotions. “I wish we could be at home right now. I’d bake you peanut butter