Texas Proud and Circle of Gold (Long, Tall Texans #52) - Diana Palmer Page 0,73
and felt his heart breaking inside him. He wanted to say something, but what could he say? His life wasn’t butterflies and roses. And, realistically, she wasn’t the sort of woman who could adjust to partying and casinos and jet travel and organized crime. It was impossible, but he hadn’t realized it until Jessie told him what Bernie had said.
He looked down at her tenderly. She was so unworldly. It would be like her not to want to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad about what his world was like.
She was thinking the same thing about him, that he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by admitting that he couldn’t live with a woman who might be an invalid one day, a woman who could barely keep up with him on a slow walk in the woods. He needed somebody vibrant and healthy, who could thrive in his company, not a woman who would limit his activities.
“It might be an idea to cool it, just for a little while,” Mikey said finally. “I’ve got people working on that car that almost hit you. We’ll find out who it was.”
“Probably somebody drunk who misjudged the curb,” she replied with a faint smile. “It’s a small town. Odd things happen here.”
His dark eyes seemed even darker as they searched her light ones. “I’ve never enjoyed anything more than this time with you.”
“Me, either,” she confessed, and tried not to show that she was dying inside.
“But we need to give each other a little space. Just for now,” he added quickly so it didn’t sound like he was trying to dump her. He couldn’t bear to hurt her feelings.
She nodded. “It’s a good idea.” She fingered the ring that stood in place of an engagement ring. She started to take it off.
His big hand went over both of hers. “No,” he said, and sounded choked. “You keep that. You keep it forever. Think of me when you wear it.”
She looked up, fighting tears. “I’ll never forget you. No matter what.”
“Yeah. It’s like that with me, too.” He hesitated. “Santi doesn’t like having me apart from him at night, the way things are going.”
Her eyes widened with worry. “They haven’t sent somebody else after you...?” she asked almost frantically.
He almost bit his lip through. That soft concern made him hate himself. “No,” he lied quickly. Some quick thinking by Paulie and the feds had saved him, already. “It’s just that he thinks a bodyguard should stay with the boss, and he can’t live in the room with me here. So...well, I’m moving over to the motel, and Santi and I can have adjoining rooms.”
Her heart sank. She’d gotten used to seeing him at the table when they had meals, in the hallway, everywhere. “That’s probably a good idea,” she said softly. She looked up. “You take care of yourself, okay?”
His big hand touched her cheek. “You do that, too. Don’t go out alone after dark. Be aware of your surroundings.”
“I always do that. Well, almost always,” she amended. “But the car came out of nowhere. I didn’t even hear it coming.”
That wasn’t surprising. Most newer model cars had quiet engines. It still bothered him that it didn’t sound like an accident. Paul was checking. If there was anything sinister, he’d find it.
“So,” Mikey said. “I’ll see you around.”
She forced a smile. “Yes. Well, goodbye.”
She went into her room, resisting the urge to look behind her. She closed the door and let the tears fall silently. It was the biggest pain of her life, almost as bad as knowing what her grandfather had done, losing her sweet grandmother and the community where she’d grown up. It was like losing a loved one.
Outside the door, Mikey was feeling something similar. But he had to do it. If he stayed here, seeing her every day, he’d go nuts. He couldn’t keep away from her, not unless he distanced himself from her. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. It was the only thing he could do. Bernie couldn’t live with the man he was. He didn’t blame her. It was just that she was the only woman he’d ever wanted to live with him.
He let out a weary breath and went into his room to pack.
* * *
“You moved out of the boardinghouse,” Paul remarked a week later, when Mikey was having supper with him and Sari while Mandy bustled around in the kitchen making a cake.