closer, one foot between mine. God, what I’d do to feel his hands on me, sliding over my sides and abs and hips, gripping my ass teasingly. He’d kiss my neck, with a little bit of teeth the way I liked it, and the scratch of his beard would add another delicious little edge of pain.
I imagined him slowly sliding his hand from my hip to my abs, then down, down, until his hand was wrapped around the base of my cock. I gripped myself hard, imagining the way Tex would do it, imagining it was his callused hand on me.
He’d jerk me slowly, I was sure of it, teasing me, drawing it out. His voice would be low in my ear, talking dirty, telling me what he wanted to do to me. He’d shift his hips and his hard cock would slide in between my cheeks, not fucking me, just sliding over my hole. God. My cock throbbed in my hand at the thought. I swallowed hard. The arousal in my gut burned hotter, spreading through my body slowly, making me so hot the shower started to feel like a cool balm on my skin.
I fisted my cock in earnest now, my hand moving hard and fast, each stroke pulling me closer to the edge. Every muscle in my body pulled taut, and even my breath stilled in my lungs as I thought of Tex jerking me off while he pressed his cock against me, pinning me to the wall like it was a promise.
I came hard and sudden, with a shivery, barely there gasp. I spilled all over my hand, and the tile, and I stood there breathing heavy as the aftershocks made me feel loose and sleepy. I’d been standing under the spray for so long, it’d gone tepid. Sated and tipsy, I climbed out of the shower and slept like the dead.
We spent the next day at the beach, first recovering from our hangovers (mine substantially worse than his), and then just lounging in the sand and swimming in the chilly water, no heavy topics broached as I repeatedly shoved the fantasy from my mind. But the vacation could only last so long, and by mid-afternoon we checked out of the Silver Gull and headed east to Elkin Lake.
I’d expected that we’d stop at the clubhouse first—that was where I lived, after all, as long as they hadn’t repurposed my room in my absence—but instead we’d driven straight to Ballast.
Now I stood on the sidewalk, halfway in the alley next to the bar. It was early evening, and the sun had just dipped below the horizon, shadowing the familiar streets of Elkin Lake. Nerves and anticipation wrestled within me.
The past two days in Monterey had been just what I’d needed—a slow transition back into civilian life. But the sight of the bar filled me with anxiety. I was afraid of how my brothers would react to my return. I couldn’t imagine they’d be happy to see me—not after how badly I’d fucked up, and how much I’d disappointed everyone. And I’d missed so much over these past three years. If anything, I’d be a hassle to the club, trying to catch up on everything that’d gone on, and trying to carve out a role for myself again.
I leaned up against the brick wall of the alley and took a few slow, deep breaths. What I really wanted was a cigarette, but I’d given those up in the joint. A drink would be nice, too, but that’d require going inside. And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.
“All right.” Tex stuck his head into the alley and narrowed his eyes at me. “You’ve been hiding long enough. We made it here, time to go inside.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a kid.” I wrinkled my nose.
“If you man up, I won’t,” Tex said.
“What would you know about manning up?” I shot back.
Tex laughed and flicked my shoulder. The knot of anxiety in my chest loosened a little. Bantering with Tex always made me feel better—and it was easier, more organic, now that we’d talked a little bit about our three years apart. Tex seemed a little lighter, though he’d never admit that talking about his feelings was actually helpful.
“Come on,” Tex said.
“Fine, fine.” I steeled myself. If I could survive three years in San Quentin, I could survive a night at Ballast.
Tex grinned and shouldered the front door open. “Unfurl the red carpet, boys!” He