know they must have been through hard times, but they had their “happy ever after” family. They’ve created what seems like an impenetrable bond with strangers, so now trying to do the same with me doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
It is a big deal.
But as much as I know it’s foolish, I think about my cousin and her pure contentment. I think about all the challenges that Danna must have faced on her journey with the Jacksons, but they didn’t give up.
I think about the feeling of John’s lips on mine, his strong body cradling me, and I want to give up holding myself as tight as a clamshell. I want to pretend so much that I’m the kind of girl who could make a man happy. That I have even a tiny chance of making eleven men happy.
Danna knew what she wanted, and she went for it. She allowed herself to be open to falling in love in a way that is so alien to normal society, but it worked for her. I’m not naïve enough to think that these men are carbon copies of the Jacksons. I’m certainly not on a par with my cousin. She’s warm and bubbly and fits into the rancher’s wife role so easily it’s practically sickening.
But that doesn’t mean things can’t work out for me, does it? I glance around, finding so many eyes on me that it’s overwhelming, but I have an idea. There are so many of them and only one of me. Maybe I don’t have to be the one who works out what to do. Maybe I should just leave it to these big, capable men. They want to take care of me… maybe they should start now.
“Brothers or lovers. That’s quite a choice.”
“Which would you prefer?” Sean asks. I can see which one he’s hoping for by his sexy smile and the way he’s leaning forward with eagerness.
“I want to know how you voted,” I say. “All I could hear was what you were voting about and then who you wanted to help me with Dad’s room.”
“Lovers,” Gordon practically growls.
“All of you?”
Gordon shakes his head. “The details of the vote don’t matter, Maggie. Once a motion is passed, everybody accepts the majority.”
“How could I possibly consider being with someone who didn’t vote in favor?”
“Can I make a suggestion,” John says, “before lunch is ruined. Can we just hang out? As individuals or smaller groups. I feel like there are so many of us and only one of you. I can feel how intimidating this must be for you. Let’s just have a great meal together, and kick back after and see what happens. You can spend time with each of us and see how things develop.”
I nod, so grateful that he seems to be able to see below the surface to the heart of the situation. “That sounds good.”
“Okay. Now that’s sorted, let’s get this food on the table and into our bellies.”
The bustle of activity that happens next is overwhelming and reminds me a lot of life at the Jackson ranch. The table is set, beers retrieved from the fridge, food arranged on huge platters and placed in the center of the table as everyone takes their seats. I’m urged to sit between John and Harley, whether it’s coincidence or whether it’s because they’re the ones I’ve spent the most time with up until now, I’m not sure. It’s as though the boys understand how to ease me in, and that gives me more hope than I could have imagined I’d have.
The meal is delicious, but even so, I have to eat just a small portion so as not to stress my stomach. They’ve even provided me with an iced tea, which is so thoughtful. I listen to their conversations, trying to fit their personalities to their appearances. Usually, in a group of men, I’d find some that just don’t appeal to me. Justin’s teammates were a real mixed bunch, from good guys to man-whores, respectful, hard workers to assholes riding on their families’ social position. It’s different here. Even though they have contrasting characters, there’s no one who’s rude or disrespectful. Not one man among these eleven does anything to alienate me.
Are they on their best behavior? Probably, but as Danna said, my dad raised them to be good men, and they really do seem to be living up to his expectations.
Afterward, I offer to do the dishes, but I’m waved away and told