'I can feel the sun trembling on the horizon, but the only thing in my mind is you."
'You're just a bundle of clichés this morning." But the relief in his voice had made it sound like truth. "What's going to happen? I mean to you?"
He shrugged, his shoulders whispering against the sheets. "From your side, I don't know. From mine, I go away until sunset. No dreams, no physical sensation." His voice began to slow under the weight of dawn. "Nothingness."
'What should I do?"
He smiled. "Kiss me? good-bye."
Her lips were on his when the sun rose. She felt the day claim him. Slowly, she pushed herself back up into a sitting position.
'Henry?"
He looked so dreadfully young. So dreadfully vulnerable.
She grabbed his shoulders and shook him, hard.
'Henry!"
His heart had always beat slowly; now, her ear pressed tight against his chest, she couldn't hear it beat at all.
He couldn't stop her from doing whatever she wanted to him. He had just put himself completely and absolutely in her hands.
Be there. Bottom line, that was all Celluci had ever asked of her. Bottom line, that was all she'd ever asked of Celluci in return.
Be there. Bottom line, it meant a lot more when Henry Fitzroy asked it.
'Henry, you shit." She shoved her glasses out of the way and scrubbed her knuckles across her eyes. "What the hell can I give you to match this?"
A few moments later, she pulled herself together with a more prosaic question. "Now what? Do I leave? Or do I stay and keep watch over you all day?" A massive yawn threatened to dislocate her jaw; she hadn't gotten much sleep during the long wait for morning. "Or do I climb in with you?"
She ran one finger lightly down his cheek. The skin felt cool and dry. It always had, but with the night to give it animation it had never felt so? unalive. "All right, scratch that last idea." Not even as tired as she was could she sleep next to the body-to the absence of Henry-that the day had created. Scooping his discarded pants off the floor, she rummaged in the pockets for his keys.
'I'm going home," she said, needing to hear herself just to offset his absolute stillness. "I'll get some sleep and be back before dark. Don't worry, I'll lock up on my way out. You'll be safe."
The lamp by the bed switched off at the door. Vicki took one look back then extinguished the pale island of light, plunging the room into complete and utter darkness.
She had her hand on the knob and had actually begun to turn it when a sudden realization stopped her cold. "How the hell do I get out of here?" Her fingers traced the rubber seals that edged the door, blocking any possible intrusion of light. Could she leave without destroying Henry? This is just great. The door boomed a hollow counterpoint to her thoughts as she beat her head gently against it. I stay to save him from suicide and end up committing murder.
Go or stay?
There'd be light spilling into the hall through the open door of his office and if she opened this door here? How direct did the sun have to be? How diffuse?
We should have covered this earlier, Henry. She couldn't believe that neither of them had considered anything past sunrise. Of course, they'd both been dealing with other things.
She couldn't risk it. The entrance door to the condo had been locked and the security chain fastened. He was as safe in here as he ever was. He just had company.
Eyes closed-voluntary lack of sight seemed to help-she stumbled back to the bed and lay down on top of the covers as far from Henry's inert body as she could get.
All her senses told her she was alone. Except she knew she wasn't. The entire room had become a coffin of sorts. She could feel the darkness pressing against her, becoming a six by three by one foot box, and tried not to think of Edgar Allan Poe and premature burials.
'How did he die?"
'His heart stopped." The assistant coroner peeled off his gloves. "Which, in fact, is what kills us all in the end. You want to know why he died, ask me after I've had him on the table for a couple of hours."
'Thank you, Dr. Singh."
He smiled, completely unaffected by the sarcasm. "I live to serve. Don't keep him too long." He paused on his way out the door and threw back, "Offhand, given the position, I'd say he was dead before he hit the floor."