Talking Dirty with the CEO - By Jackie Ashenden Page 0,57
idea or met a new person who interested him. He focused completely on it/them to the exclusion of everything else.
But not to the point of forgetting Jude’s birthday.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Hey, hey, what’s up?” Jude set the coffee down on the table. “You’re all hyped.”
“Nothing’s up.” He crossed over to the windows, turning and pacing back to the couch again. “Why should anything be up? I just missed your freaking birthday, no big deal, right?”
“It’s okay, Joe.”
“No, it’s not okay. It’s not bloody okay.” He turned, thrusting a hand through his hair, going over to the wall this time before turning yet again and moving restlessly to the windows. “That’s the one thing I never forget. Never, Jude.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. “You need to go back on the meds?”
“No, shit no.” He hated the meds. They left him dull and tired and unable to think straight.
“So why all this anger? What were you doing last night?”
He tried to get a grip. “Nothing. I was…” He stopped, not wanting to tell her. Christ, it sounded so bad to say he’d gone to a party with a woman. But then he hated keeping stuff from Jude. “I was with someone.”
Her blue eyes were very direct. “Ah. A new someone?”
“The woman I met online.”
An expression of surprise crossed her face. “Again?”
“Yes, again. Don’t look at me like that.”
“Oh come on, Joe. Can you blame me?” Judith sat down on the couch, picked up her coffee. “She must be something special to warrant a second viewing.”
Actually, it was a lot more than a second viewing.
You’re the best boyfriend ever.
“She’s…different.”
Jude gazed at him from over the top of her coffee mug. “So what were you doing with her? Or is that something I don’t want to know?”
Joseph stopped in the middle of the room. He didn’t want to share what had happened with Christie at her parents’ place. That was Christie’s business, no one else’s. So he went with something more innocuous. “Would you believe we were rebuilding an old computer?”
“No. Seriously?”
“It’s true.” He frowned. “What?”
Jude was grinning. “You. Sitting there quietly building a computer with a lady friend.”
“Don’t.”
“What? It’s cute.”
He turned, uncomfortable with how defensive he felt about his time with Christie. “It’s not cute. There’s no way I should have forgotten to check my reminders. No way.”
“You were enjoying yourself that much, huh?”
Joseph stalked over to the windows. The view wasn’t anything to speak of, just the building next door, but he stared at it anyway.
Yes, he had enjoyed himself last night. Watching her come into her own in front of her parents. And not even just then, but every night he spent with her, whether it was talking about movies in bed or sitting next to her and chatting while messing around with electronics. The stuff he’d loved as a kid, hanging out in the kitchen, consumed by whatever had caught his fancy at the time, talking at his mother while she cooked or washed up or did whatever it was mothers did.
Until she told him to shut up and get the hell away from her because she couldn’t stand his constant interruptions.
“You know,” Jude said softly, “I’d much rather you forgot my birthday because you were enjoying being with someone special instead of partying with one of your factory dolls.”
“She’s not…” He couldn’t complete the denial, falling over it and coming to a stop.
“Ah.” Jude sighed. “What a lot of crap, Joe. That’s why you’re so agitated. It’s not just because you forgot my birthday. You forgot my birthday because you liked being with her and you’re pissed off about it.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned around. There was no point in denying it. He’d offered to be her boyfriend, for Christ’s sake. He didn’t do that for women he felt nothing for.
“Yeah,” he said. “She’s special.” And this time it was easy to say.
Too special for a guy like you.
A cold hand closed around his heart.
Last night he’d thought he could be the man she needed. The man she deserved. And she deserved everything. Someone patient. Someone reliable. Someone who wouldn’t get distracted. Someone calm and steady, who would support her. Someone who would never let her down.
Well, he wasn’t that someone. He would never be that someone.
One day, at some point, at some time, he would let her down. Because that’s what he did. It didn’t seem to matter how important the person was to him, there was always a moment where he’d forget,