happened to her...Christ, Maddie, I don’t think I’d be able to get through it.”
“Being a parent isn’t for the weak,” Maddie said. “It takes a lot of courage to love someone so much. But the rewards are worth it.” She pursed her lips. “Well...usually.”
“What if you’ve been right all these years and I don’t deserve those rewards?”
Instead of gloating like she would have a week ago, Maddie looked at him with compassion. “You do.”
“She ran off. She ran away from me.”
“Sorry, but you don’t get to take credit for that. Bree was the one who made the choice to leave. She’s always had a mind of her own and once she sets that mind to something, look out. I remember one time...she must’ve been two...I lost her at the mall. One minute she was pushing her stroller, babbling to herself, charming the other customers, the next...she was gone.”
“You’re telling me she started practicing her disappearing act early?”
“I’m telling you that you aren’t the only one to lose track of our kid.”
“What did you do?”
“I freaked. Big-time. I ran around the store yelling her name, shoved aside clothes, dropped to my stomach to look under racks...” She shook her head. “Thankfully, this sweet elderly lady pointed to the window at the front of the store. Sure enough, there was Bree, sitting in the display playing with the mannequin’s feet.”
He shook his head. “She had a thing for feet at that age.”
“She did,” Maddie said with a soft laugh. “It was so weird. Anyway,” she continued with a wave of her hand, “when I found her it was as if she’d been away for hours. I mean, she was only out of my sight a few minutes, but I swear, it was like my entire life flashed in front of my eyes.”
“I’m going to look into getting her some sort of GPS collar,” he said, only half kidding. “Like they have for pets.”
“You do that. And if you ever want a real scare, ask Fay about the time she was at Shane’s sister’s house and Elijah wandered off only to be found next to the swimming pool.”
His blood chilled and he held up a hand. “I’d rather not know.”
She shrugged. “Like I said, parenting isn’t for the weak.”
“It’s not,” he agreed gruffly. “But you did it.”
“I had a lot of help. My family. Yours.”
But not him.
The realization left him reeling. Unsettled. Wondering what he’d missed out on.
She checked her watch once again and he realized he was keeping her from work. That he didn’t want to let her go. Not yet.
“I could come over tonight,” he said. “So we can discuss Bree’s punishment.”
She studied him in the way that made him feel too exposed. As if she knew talking about their kid wasn’t the only reason he wanted to stop by her place. “We’re eating at my parents’ tonight. Why don’t we talk about it at Bree’s soccer game?”
“I don’t think I’m going. Bree made it clear she doesn’t want me around.”
Maddie snorted. “Believe me, there are times she doesn’t want me around, especially when I’m nagging her about cleaning her room. I don’t let it stand in my way.”
“I don’t want to pressure her into anything.”
“So she’s ticked off at you. Kids get mad at their parents all the time. Sometimes they don’t want us around and sometimes, they even hate us. But you’re her father and if you’re going to be a part of her life, you’ll have to get used to it.”
Easy for her to say, he thought as Maddie went back to work and he headed toward his rental car. Then again, no one said being a parent was easy. Today made him realize exactly how thankless, exhausting and all-consuming of a job it really was.
Along with how important.
* * *
“WANT ME TO KILL HIM?” Leo asked—as if it was every day someone set up a hit at a preteen soccer game. “I know people.”
“You’ve been asking me that for twelve years,” Maddie said to her most annoying bother, “and for twelve years I’ve given you the same answer. I don’t want the man dead.”
The man being—of course—Neil, who had arrived at the park in time for the beginning of the game. He kept his distance, though, watching from the sidelines instead of sitting on the bleachers.
The bleachers where both their families sat, taking up the entire center section.
She wondered if he’d mind if she joined him.
Leo tore open a package of cherry licorice. “All I’m saying is