how he felt about himself on how others viewed him. That way led to a lifetime of trying to keep that high opinion. Of spending all his time trying to make other people happy and of relying on them to make him happy in return.
“Daddy!”
The word, shouted outside, carried easily into the kitchen. Neil spun around looking for Bree, expecting to see her barreling toward him, a huge smile lighting up her face.
But it wasn’t his daughter calling out to him in excitement, throwing herself into his arms like she used to. It was Elijah. His nephew attached himself to Shane’s legs, looked up at him, his mouth going a mile a minute. Guess that explained Fay’s turnaround.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Neil told Carl as he came back into the kitchen.
Carl joined him at the window, where they watched Fay join Shane and Elijah. “Not for us to decide. Your sister’s a grown woman. She needs to make her own decisions. And her own mistakes. Here,” he said, handing Neil a cold beer. “Take this, and those hot dogs, out to the grill. If you’re going to hide out you might as well do something useful.”
“I thought you threatened to shish-kebab anyone who touched the grill?”
“I’m granting you special access for today only. But you’d better get out there. The steaks are already on the fire and if they burn, Geraldine will have your ass.”
That was true—and terrifying—enough that Neil grabbed the tray of hot dogs and hurried outside. Luckily, the grill had been set up at the edge of the party. Close enough to keep an eye on the action, far enough away that few people would make the trek over.
If he played this right, he’d have a good twenty minutes to himself.
He opened the grill lid, leaned back as a rush of flames and steam poured out. The steaks and burgers sizzled, scented the air. Sipping his beer, he checked the steaks. Carl thought the knobs on the front were for decoration purposes only, which meant everything he grilled ended up looking and tasting like charcoal.
After adjusting the heat, Neil shut the lid, swept his gaze over the crowd. At a table near the pool, the mayor sipped a glass of wine and listened to the president of the school board. Mrs. Leslie, Neil’s seventh-grade English teacher, laughed at something Gerry’s dentist said.
The free booze must have been a big draw. Local politicians, business owners and professionals mingled with grocery store clerks, factory workers and cops. It seemed as if everyone Neil had ever been in contact with—from Carl’s old coworkers at the refinery to the women Gerry used to clean house for—were there.
Everyone except his daughter.
He pulled out his phone and pressed the button for Maddie’s house. It rang. And rang. When the machine picked up, Maddie’s husky voice telling him to leave a message at the beep, he disconnected and turned back to the grill. He’d already left two messages. One yesterday when he’d called to invite Bree to this impromptu picnic. Another this morning when he’d checked to see if she’d gotten his first message.
His daughter was ignoring him.
It was unacceptable. And, more than likely, all Maddie’s doing. She was pissed he’d stood up to her. Questioned her. She hated that he wanted to be a bigger part of Bree’s life after giving in to her for so long.
It was partly his own fault, he realized. Maddie hadn’t so much pushed him out of Bree’s life as nudged him out. He was the one who’d stepped back. He’d let her get away with her excuses for why Bree couldn’t visit him, had given in to her every whim and wish where their daughter was concerned.
He hadn’t wanted to make waves, hadn’t wanted to cause problems. Had thought—hoped—that by keeping the peace, it’d make up for hurting her. Would assuage the guilt he felt about not wanting to be a father.
Now his daughter didn’t return his calls and acted as if she’d rather wear bacon-scented clothes and be tossed into a pen with rabid dogs than hang out with her father.
“You shouldn’t press down on them.”
He stilled at the familiar voice. She was here.
About damn time.
Bree stood a few feet from the grill frowning at him in a pair of bright pink sweatpants and a tie-dyed T-shirt at least two sizes too big.
He stepped toward her, wanting to pull her in for a hug, but she stiffened and took a small step back.