say goodbye. She didn’t even look back. The door shut, the sound loud in the quiet night.
“Maybe next time,” Maddie said, linking and unlinking her fingers together, “it’d be better if you called first instead of just dropping by.”
“Right,” he managed to say. “Wouldn’t want to put you or your family out.”
He turned on his heel and headed back toward his car, anger—unreasonable and uncontrollable—threatening to drown him.
“Neil,” she called. “Neil! God, could you wait a minute?” she asked in exasperation when he kept walking.
He forced himself to stop while she carefully made her way down the gravel driveway. Like Bree, her feet were bare, her hair was down. In a pair of yoga pants that ended just below the knee and a stretchy V-neck T-shirt, she was toned and curvy. And beautiful. She’d always been beautiful to him.
Damn it, she made him forget why he’d left. Made him want her. Want the life he’d left behind.
“What, exactly,” she asked, her arms crossed, her hip cocked, “is your problem?”
Tension tightened his spine, had him closing the distance between them. “You want to know my problem?” His tone was low, his words rough. “I’m tired of you dictating when I can and can’t see my daughter.”
“I’m not dictating anything,” she said, laying her hand on her chest, the perfect picture of affronted female. He wasn’t buying it.
“Bullshit. You love this, don’t you? You love having all the control, being the one in charge, making all the decisions. But it’s not enough for you that I have to ask for your permission before I can take Bree anywhere, do anything with her. Now I can’t even see her without making a goddamn appointment while your family gets to be with her whenever the hell they want?”
She gaped at him. “Oh, my God. That’s what this is all about? You’re jealous?” Her laugh was breathless, humorless. “Unbelievable. All that fame and fortune you worked so hard for, that you wanted for so long, is no longer enough for you?”
He couldn’t even deny it. Not when he was afraid she was right. “This isn’t about my career.”
“It’s always about your career. Always has been about your goals.” She whirled around, took three steps away before turning back to him, her hair whipping around her face. “How dare you come here and act like you’re the injured party? How dare you stand there and pretend that it bothers you not to be the one playing cards with your daughter, the one who’ll tuck her into bed tonight? You didn’t want that, remember?” she asked, her voice soft now and shaking, though no less vehement. “You didn’t want to be tied down with some ordinary life in Shady Grove, didn’t want a wife or kids holding you back. You had plans to follow and big dreams to chase. And unless I’m mistaken, neither those plans nor those dreams included Bree. Or me.”
Her words hit him, landing like two quick right jabs to his solar plexus, stealing his breath and his ability to defend himself. To protect himself. To stop from admitting more than he could risk her knowing.
“You’re right,” he growled, whipping off his glasses and edging closer. Her throat worked as she swallowed but she lifted her chin, kept her eyes on his. Maddie always met your eyes. Always let you know where you stood with her. She put it all out there, made herself vulnerable. That openness and honesty had been a big part of what had drawn him to her.
Even as it’d scared the hell out of him.
“I didn’t want a wife or a kid,” he continued. Still stalking her, barely recognizing that for every step he took forward, she took two quick ones back, the words ripped from his throat. “I didn’t want to be stuck here. Not when I’d worked so hard to make something of myself. To prove I was—”
Cursing himself, he clamped his lips shut, his breathing ragged.
“Prove what?” she whispered, watching him in that way that had always made him feel as if she was looking for something inside of him. Something more than who he was, than what he could give.
“I may not have wanted it,” he said, “but I still stood up. I did the best I could to take responsibility, to be a father even if I couldn’t be with my daughter every day. And because I wasn’t here, because you were, because I felt so guilty about that, I gave in to you.”