Talk Hockey to Me (Bears Hockey #3) - Kelly Jamieson Page 0,81

heal.

“I like thinking of it that way,” I say slowly. “And its true…there are so many parts of you that aren’t broken, Hunter.”

“Hockey,” he says. “My passion for the game. Determination.”

It feels so good to hear him talk positively about himself. “Yes.” I touch his cheek. “You feel things so deeply, and yet you try to hide it. I think that must make it even harder for you.”

“That’s what I need to work on. When Millsy and Hellsy and I talked, it was…okay. To be able to share things with friends who’ve been through the same things…who understand. And…I’ve always felt that way with you.” He gazes earnestly into my eyes. “I felt safe telling you. You never judged me or laughed at me or thought I was weak because of it.”

I close my eyes, a wave of both gratitude and dismay washing through me. I hate that he felt he couldn’t talk about things to anyone else, that people might have ridiculed him for it. But I’m glad he felt that way with me. “You never judged me either,” I whisper. “Even when other guys thought I was too…aggressive. You never did.”

“I love how strong you are.”

“Thank you.” I deliver another long kiss.

“But I didn’t share enough with you,” he continues. “I should have stayed and talked to you about how I was feeling instead of bolting.”

“Yes. You should have.” Dammit, I might cry again. I never cry. “I love you Hunter, but if we’re going to be together you have to promise me that you’ll stay and talk, no matter how hard it is.”

Our eyes meet and hold. I feel his gaze looking deep inside me and I let him see my feelings…and I read the love shining through in his. “I promise.” He takes my hand and presses it to his chest above his heart. “Roberta told me that by avoiding or ignoring my past—which I was by refusing to play for the Bears—it was still giving my past power over me. I thought I could keep it in the past, but the truth is, I can’t.”

I nod.

“I have to accept that. I have to be comfortable with it, and then it won’t have as much power over me.” He hesitates. “Are you comfortable with that? That it will always be part of me?”

I have no hesitation. “Yes. I always have been. You should know that.”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “You’re right. So, Roberta said this is a point of change, a turning point, and what worked for me before to get through things might not work this time. She made me realize I had to do something different, and the first thing was to meet with Josh and Easton. Only, they showed up out of the blue.” He pauses. “Or not so much ‘out of the blue.’”

“Are you mad about that?” Anxiety tightens my insides. “I was afraid you’d be angry at me for interfering again. But I had a feeling they were the two people you really needed to talk to.”

“And you were right. I might have been annoyed, but I’d already figured that out. And Josh also told me not to be mad at you because the same thing happened with him and Sara and I guess it almost ended things between them. But it made him and Easton sit down and hash things out, so it was all good.”

“Whew. Okay, great.” I bury my face against his chest. “I was so worried about you.”

He strokes my back. “Thanks. I was worried about you, too. I was afraid not only did I screw up my career, but yours too.” He runs his fingers through my hair. “And I was worried that I hurt you and I hated that. I shouldn’t have said that you can’t fix everything. Apparently, you can.”

I take a deep breath. “No. I can’t. I overstepped big time with you. I’m so sorry, Hunter. I need to stop doing that. I have to step back with my clients and not get so involved in their lives.”

He shifts and cups my face in both hands, looking directly into my eyes. “The fact that you care about your clients makes you a great agent.”

I swallow, my throat thickening at his praise. “I can still care about them. I just need to learn how far to go.”

His smile is so warm and proud it lights up my insides like a goal light flashing red. And I feel kind of proud of myself for coming to this