Talk Hockey to Me (Bears Hockey #3) - Kelly Jamieson Page 0,68

to make this right if he won’t even talk to me?

20

Hunter

I got here late last night after a couple of flights. Very expensive, last minute flights. I surprised my family, showing up at home in a cab. We yakked a bit, then everyone crashed.

I’m a free agent.

That thought gives me a twist of panic in my gut.

And yet…I have offers.

I know they’re not going to pull the offers after one day, but how fucking stupid am I to pick up and leave town? I deserve every fucked-up thing that happens to me. Like the last time, when I couldn’t get my shit together enough to enter the draft. Even a year later, I couldn’t do it. Now I’m screwing up again.

I had to get away. I paced around my apartment the night Kate told me about the offers, simmering and seething, unable to shut my mind off, unable to sit still. It must be the adrenaline giving me some kind of primal fight or flight instinct. And I chose to flee.

Now I’m here, I almost regret it. It was impulsive and childish.

On the other hand, I’m a mess. I can tell myself a million times to get it together, but it just doesn’t work like that. I still feel like running.

So I literally go for a run, lacing up my shoes and cruising through the neighborhood where I grew up. That’s healthier than a beer at ten in the morning.

When I get home, Mom’s making waffles and Dad’s sitting at the island with coffee and his iPad.

“Breakfast’s almost ready,” Mom says.

“I’ll just jump in the shower.” I wipe my face on the hem of my T-shirt. “It’s already hot out there.”

“Going up to thirty today,” Dad comments. “Scorcher.”

I’ve gotten so used to Fahrenheit it takes me a minute to make the conversion from Celsius. “Yeah. That’s hot.”

After a fast shower, I join them in the kitchen again. Arianna’s up now too, also on a stool at the island wearing pajamas, her hair in a messy bun.

“Okay,” she says. “Tell us now. What’s going on? There are all kinds of rumors about which team you’re going to sign with.”

Ugh. Just what I don’t want to talk about. I pour myself a mug of coffee from the pot on the counter. “What are the rumors?”

“Santa Monica, Toronto, New York. Bears, I mean. Also Pittsburgh and Boston.”

I choke. “Definitely not Pittsburgh or Boston.”

She grins. “I vote for Santa Monica. I want to come visit you in California.”

“Oh, that helps make my decision.”

She laughs. “Tell us!”

I wish I was as excited as she is.

With no emotion, I tell them what’s been happening. But when it comes to the offer from the Bears, and everyone’s screaming, I don’t know how to explain that I’m not going to take that offer. After Kate telling me to “face my fears” I can only imagine what my family will say.

Nobody gets it. Nobody’s been through it. Nobody knows what it’s like to have those feelings.

Except…maybe Easton Millar and Josh Heller.

They went through the same thing. Except, they didn’t. Obviously, they’re both fine now. Josh has recovered from his injuries. Easton had nothing wrong with him at all. Even they don’t know what I’ve been through.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I hedge.

Dad frowns at me over his reading glasses. “What’s to decide?”

I shrug. “I want to consider every angle.”

He squints. “Like what?”

“Like, everything.” I sound like an idiot. “Don’t worry, my agent is very smart. She knows what she’s doing.”

Fuck. I am an idiot.

“Why aren’t you happier, Hunt?” Mom asks slowly. “This is exactly what you wanted.”

“I’m happy.”

They all give me a what-the-fuck look.

“I am. I just need some time to think. That’s why I’m here.”

“Well. We’re glad you’re here,” Mom sets a big platter of waffles on the island. “Eat up.”

I shoot her a look of gratitude, but I know it’s a reprieve. This isn’t done.

Maybe I should go to Tofino.

I could be totally alone. Stare at the ocean. Walk on the beach. Surf. It’d be perfect.

Another expensive flight to Vancouver and a ferry ride to the island later, I’m in Tofino. This time, I’m staying at a five-star resort that combines rustic with luxury. Nestled among ancient pine trees, my suite overlooks Chesterman Beach.

I love this place, even though I spent some of the worst days of my life here. It’s quiet and peaceful. I love the scent of pines mingled with the salt of the ocean. I love the waves crashing onto rocks and sand. I spend