for the love of God, be quick, I said. I stopped and looked at him. What is it What's the matter with you.
In a very low and uncertain voice he answered:
I cannot do this.
What!
I stared at him, trying to fathom what he meant, what possible doubt he could have, what possible difficulty we must now dispose of. And I realized what a dreadful change had come over his narrow face-that all its smoothness had been lost, and that indeed it was a perfect mask of sorrow. Once again, I realized that I was seeing him as human beings saw him. A faint red shimmer veiled his green eyes. Indeed, his entire form, so seemingly solid and powerful, was trembling.
I cannot do it, Lestat, he said again, and all his soul seemed to come out in the words. I can't help you!
What in the name of God are you saying to me! I demanded. I made you. You exist tonight because of me! You love me, you spoke those very words to me. Of course you will help me.
I rushed towards him, slamming my hands down on the desk and looking into his face.
Louis, answer me! What do you mean, you can't do it!
Oh, I don't blame you for what you've done. I don't. But can't you see what's happened Lestat, you have done it. You have been reborn a mortal man.
Louis, this is no time to sentimentalize the transformation. Don't throw my own words back at me! I was wrong.
No. You weren't wrong.
What are you trying to tell me! Louis, we are wasting time. I have to go after that monster! He has my body.
Lestat, the others will deal with him. Perhaps they already have.
Already have! What do you mean, already have!
Don't you think they know what's happened? He was deeply distressed but also angry. How the human lines of expression appeared and disappeared in his supple flesh as he spoke. How could such a thing have taken place without their knowing? he said, as if he were pleading with me to understand. You spoke of this Raglan James as a sorcerer. But no sorcerer can veil himself entirely from creatures as powerful as Maharet or her sister, as powerful as Khayman and Marius, or even Armand. And what a clumsy sorcerer-to murder your mortal agent in such a bloody and cruel way. He shook his head, his hands suddenly pressed to his lips. Lestat, they know! They must know. And it could well be that your body has already been destroyed.
They wouldn't do that.
Why wouldn't they You surrendered an engine of destruction to this demon-
But he didn't know how to use it! It was only for thirty-six hours of mortal time! Louis, whatever the case, you must give in the blood. Lecture me afterwards. Work the Dark Trick and I'll find the answers to all these questions. We're wasting precious minutes, hours.
No, Lestat. We are not. That's my entire point! The question of this Body Thief and the body he stole from you isn't what must concern us here. It's what's happening to you-your soul-hi this body now.
All right. Have it your way. Now make this body a vampire now.
I can't. Or more truly, I will not.
I rushed at him. I couldn't prevent myself. And in an instant I had both hands on the lapels of his miserable dusty black coat. I pulled at the cloth, ready to tear him up and out of the chair, but he remained absolutely unmovable, looking at me quietly, his face still stricken and sad. In impotent fury, I let go of him, and stood there, trying to still the confusion in my heart.
You can't mean what you're saying! I pleaded, slamming my fists again on the desk hi front of him. How can you deny : me this?
Will you let me be one who loves you now? he asked, his voice once again infused with emotion, his face still deeply and tragically sad. I wouldn't do it no matter how great your misery, no matter how strongly you pleaded, no matter what awful litany of events you set down before me. I wouldn't do it because I will not make another one of us for any reason under God. But you have brought me no great misery! You are not faced by any awful litany of disasters! He shook his head, overcome as if he couldn't continue, and then: You have triumphed in this as only you could.