Takeoff (Open Skies #5) - Becca Jameson Page 0,5
trying to hide it before today,” he pointed out.
She drew in a long breath. “When I moved here three years ago, I worked hard to get my head straight and shake myself of those crazy lunatics. I’ve even learned to embrace the white streak. People pay good money for them,” she joked half-heartedly.
He didn’t laugh. “So these crazy people… Are they bothering you again?”
“Yes. It’s insane. It took them less than a day to find me on social media and start harassing me. It’s only a matter of time before they figure out where I live.” She looked down. “I haven’t told Heather yet.”
“Jesus, Rae. That’s a lot of pressure. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
She dropped her shoulders and sighed. “My plate is full, Deacon. I’m always going to be looking over my shoulder my entire life. On top of that, I have to fucking worry about schizophrenia. I don’t date. Not seriously. I let myself get carried away with you, pretending I was a normal person for two entire weeks. It felt like life was reminding me that I’m not a normal person when that bitch showed up on my flight. My entire world crumbled during takeoff.”
“Rae… That must have been awful, but you are a normal person.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not even close. I’m a hotbed of messiness.”
“So let me get this straight. You refuse to get close to anyone because you’re worried about eventually developing a mental illness and some crazy people think you’re a witch?”
“Basically. Trust me. It’s the right decision. Even if I never succumbed to schizophrenia, I could pass on the genetic marker. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”
“So you’re planning to keep people at arm’s length for your entire life on the off chance you might down the road need some medication? People live with schizophrenia.”
“My mother didn’t handle it well at all. I watched her decline until she finally died. She wasn’t very old either. Which honestly was probably a blessing. At least she doesn’t have to fight demons every day anymore.”
“I’m so sorry, Rae. I can’t imagine how difficult your childhood must have been. Your adulthood too apparently. How old are you?”
“Thirty-five.”
“Okay, so in the short run, you need a game plan in case these people find you.”
“I haven’t even told Heather. I feel bad that she just moved in with me and now this.”
“Well, as your friend, I advise you to tell Heather first. So she’ll be prepared. Just in case.”
“Yeah. I will. I just… It’s exhausting. I was hoping it would go away. Instead, it’s escalating.”
“Can’t the police do anything?”
She shrugged. “Not usually. The Venatoris are sneaky. I can file a restraining order, but that won’t stop them. Besides, restraining orders require names of actual people. I don’t know their names.”
Deacon closed the distance and took her hand in his. “You don’t have to fight these demons alone, Rae.”
“I do.”
“No. You don’t. You have friends. They will help. And I’m one of them.”
“I can’t ask that of you or anyone else. You don’t understand how overwhelming it can be. It doesn’t end. It just goes on and on forever. It’s not like I’m telling you I’m having surgery on Wednesday and I need a ride to the doctor next week. People are going to follow me around my entire life. I’m going to look over my shoulder every day of my life. And on top of that, I have to worry about mental illness. If I don’t end up crazy genetically, these people will drive me over the edge.”
“You’re not crazy, Rae.” He squeezed her hand. No wonder she was not herself. She was under a lot of pressure and trying to handle it on her own. No one person could be expected to manage all that by themselves. “Please. Let me in. Let me lighten the burden.”
When her shoulders started shaking, he pulled her forward into his embrace. He held her while the tears began to fall, grabbing a pile of tissues before knocking the box out from between them.
It felt good to have her in his arms again. He’d missed her. Of course, the last thing she needed was for him to insinuate he liked her as more than a friend. She couldn’t deal with that right now. So, he’d take a step back. Be what she needed.
It was the only choice he had right now. After all, he hadn’t been honest with her either a month ago. He had a pile of life