more perfect?’ She stopped walking. ‘For you to come over tomorrow for Christmas, with me and Ed.’
‘You sure?’
She couldn’t be more sure of anything. Yes, there was a huge splinter in her heart that she needed to pull out, to make better, but she needed time to figure out how to explain.
‘Are you happy, Maddie?’
‘At the moment, yes.’ She swung his hand back and forth and carried on walking along the sand, aware that they were in step, not wanting to change the mood. The beach was deserted. Most people were probably doing things like wrapping presents, making stuffing, laying tables. She thought of all the Christmases she’d had with just Ed and Tim in Little Rowland. Sometimes Tim’s dad and the latest wife would come. By the end of the day, her cheeks were usually hurting from all that forced smiling, and she wondered how she’d put up with those Christmases of chit-chat and simmering tensions. Over the last few years, Tim and his father had fallen out and they hardly saw one another, a relief at Christmas.
After their walk, they settled in the lounge. The Christmas tree lights flickered on and off in the cosy living room as the cinnamon flames roared in the grate. Greg leant against the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him. She was desperate to quieten the little misgivings that were niggling her, have a proper conversation, but it wasn’t the right time. It was Christmas Eve and, right now, she’d been given the biggest gift of all.
43
Maddie woke up with a start and looked at her watch: ten o’clock. Goodness, she’d been more tired than she realised. After their walk on the beach, Ed had brought back some parcels, which he’d quickly stashed in his room with a grin, as well as pizza that they’d shared by the fire with some more red wine, chilli olives and hummus from one of the stalls. Greg had to leave soon after as he was manning the phones at the centre, and she and Ed had watched La La Land on TV – her choice. Taffie had been snoring by the fire.
She climbed out of bed now, swept her dressing gown over her and glanced at the bay from the window. The tide was way out and the vast stretch of oatmeal sand lay empty apart from the one lone dog-walker. The sky was streaked with white and rose-pink clouds zigzagging haphazardly across it, heralding the beginning of a new day: Christmas Day. Maddie smiled to herself.
She had work to do; she wanted this Christmas to be memorable. She wanted to talk to Ed about Greg, and Greg about Ed… but she needed to find the right time.
She pulled her dressing gown tight around her as she padded barefoot across the hall. Ed’s door was ajar. He lay, sprawled out like a starfish, both feet peeking out of the duvet at the end of the bed. She’d never tire of looking at her man-boy, the child who used to keep grasshoppers in a matchbox by his bed until she explained it was a bit cruel and they needed to get back to the wild.
‘Mornin’, Mum,’ came a mumble from under the duvet.
‘How did you know I was here?’
‘I always know when you’re spying on me.’ A grinning, stubbly face emerged from under the blue checked duvet.
‘Merry Christmas!’ She wandered over to the edge of his bed and sat down on the side.
He sat up on his elbows. ‘Merry Christmas! I won’t kiss you because I have morning breath!’
‘Eugh!’ She laughed. ‘You all right?’
‘Yup,’ he said, throwing the duvet back and leaping out of bed, ‘and I’ll be better when I see what’s under the tree! C’mon!’
Maddie grinned and followed her lanky son down the stairs and into the kitchen, resisting the urge to ruffle his hair from behind. He grabbed his coat and some wellies and went outside to get some more wood. As he made a fire, Maddie hummed to herself whilst the croissants warmed in the oven and she heaped fresh coffee into the cafetière.
When she took them through, Ed had managed to get a roaring fire going and was sitting back, with his long legs crossed on the sofa, looking at the tree. Under it, there were several presents and Maddie had placed a stocking on the sofa next to Ed.
‘Hey, you remembered? It looks a bit like the one I used to have…’