‘He’s really broke and needs to save for the honeymoon, for university, for the student loan.’ She sighed wistfully. ‘They’ve got their whole life ahead of them.’ She quickly realised what she’d just said.
‘Yes, they do.’ Something in Greg’s voice had changed. He sat up straight then turned to her and fixed her with an intense stare. The hairs on Maddie’s neck stood up and she had to look away. That kept happening. One minute they were getting on like old times, the next, the bubble was burst. She couldn’t blame him, but sometimes, like picking at a scab, she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to go over it with him, make him understand. She reached out and touched his knee.
‘Look, Greg, I know we’ve been through this, but you have to believe me. I didn’t feel I had a choice; I didn’t want to trap you.’
‘You didn’t give me much of a choice, Maddie, did you?’ His voice was rising. ‘Can you imagine how I feel, how I’ve felt. I’ve had a son I’ve never known, never been able to get to know – until now – and he hates me. I had a right to know!’ He picked up his empty glass and threw the ice cubes onto the grass. Then he stood up. ‘I’d better go. This was a stupid idea, coming here today.’
‘No Greg, it wasn’t, I—’ Maddie stood up and faced him.
‘What?’
‘I’m really glad you came. I’m always glad to see you.’ She looked him straight in the eye. ‘And it’s not because of my hand,’ she said quickly as his expression altered – just a bit – but she saw it. She was just about to reach out and touch his arm but something her made her stop.
‘Well, I’m not so sure, Maddie,’ he said placing his baseball cap back on his head. ‘I just don’t – I don’t know, I’m not sure if I can get over it.’ He held her gaze for a long time, and then walked away.
And as she watched him stride down the garden Maddie wished for the thousandth time that she could rewrite those chapters of her life.
*
By seven o’clock she’d put a ready-made lasagne in the oven for her and Ed and was just waiting for it to cook. Her notebook was on her knee and she was looking out to the bay, making small sketches of the waves and the gulls overhead. Wafts of rosemary, garlic and onions seeped into the lounge. She could hear Ed upstairs, clattering around. He was back from Exeter and was filled with renewed vigour about his course. He’d been looking through some of the boxes that had lain under the stairs all summer, searching for a few of his personal items.
‘Mum?’ Ed came into the lounge carrying one of the boxes, breaking her concentration.
She looked up at him from the sofa. ‘Hmm?’ His eyes were raspberry-red. ‘What’s up?’
He sat down next to her and put a small black box on the table in front of her. ‘You need to see this.’
‘What is it?’
‘Jesus.’ He bowed his head, and then looked up at her. ‘Have a look.’
He pulled out the device from the cardboard box.
Her mouth felt dry; she sat up straighter and looked at what was in his hands.
‘It’s an interactive camera and sound system I set up at the house a while ago. Dad, Tim, whatever – anyway he put it in ages ago, but never got it working. I set it up properly before I left for Bali, as I knew you’d be home alone quite a bit what with Dad being away on his wine trips and business meetings all over the country like he usually is.’ Ed shrugged. ‘I was worried about you – I was going to tell you.’ He smiled. ‘But then you popped up, in Bali.’
She tilted her head to one side. ‘And?’
He looked sideways at her. ‘I had one facing the front door, and there are sound detectors in the kitchen. It was just in case someone broke in. I got an alert on my phone. You can see footage from the camera if you log in to their website.’ He screwed up his face. ‘Which I just did. Dad didn’t know either.’ He turned and put a warm hand on her arm. ‘That’s the problem.’
She looked at his big hand covering her forearm. The hand that now had the lotus tattoo. She