Robinson means a great deal to the Holloway children.”
“I’m not going to run her off, if that’s what you’re asking, but someone needs to be in charge, and that’s me.”
Ms. Shea nodded and stepped aside to consult with the lawyers.
Lily bristled as she faced Sean. She wanted to understand what drove this man, but the two of them were worlds apart, united only by their compassion for the children. “I don’t think you’re considering the long term. This is a huge commitment.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“They’re in a post-trauma situation and just getting them through that is going to take an enormous effort,” she said. “While they’re dealing with that, life doesn’t simply stop and wait for them. There are school issues, potty training and tantrums, illness, puberty, and you never get time off for good behavior. This is a life sentence.”
“Gee, you make it sound like a real picnic.”
“This is not about having fun.”
He chuckled, but his eyes were flinty with anger. “Oh, that’s classic. ‘This is not about having fun.’” He did a wicked imitation of Lily.
She stifled a gasp of outrage. “I’m just trying to make clear to you—”
“That fun is out of the question?”
“That our priority is the children.”
“Let’s see. Which of us is better for them? You, because you’ll make sure they go to bed on time every night, or me, because I’m not afraid to let them learn that life can be fun again? Let’s ask Dr. Sachs.” He took out his cell phone.
She didn’t know what possessed her to touch him. She put her hand on his arm. “They need us both.”
He looked at her hand, then at her. Self-conscious, she moved away.
“Tell me why you’re so fired up to step in and raise these kids,” he said.
“Because it’s what Crystal wanted. Because I’d do a good job.” She spoke with unthinking swiftness and vehemence. “I made a promise.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m not hearing you say you want this,” he pointed out.
“I want what’s best for these children.” Suddenly the life she thought she had, the future she’d planned for herself, looked completely different. Her palms were sweating, though she resisted the urge to wipe them on her skirt. “I’m sure you want that, too, Sean. I know you care about them, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice everything—”
“It wouldn’t be a sacrifice. It would be…living. Doing what people do all over the world, raising a family and getting through the day. It’s common sense that the kids need stability and consistency, and since Derek’s will is clear on the point of guardianship, that means they’re staying with me.”
“I should raise them.” Even as she said the words, her blood froze in trepidation. Say yes, she thought, and then, please say no. Lily drew herself up. She’d been knocked out of the way by Derek’s will, which left his unsuitable brother as guardian. It wasn’t right. “I’m serious,” she said. “And you know I’m right.”
“My brother had another opinion.”
“Just because he chose you doesn’t mean you’re the most suited.”
“Just because you’ve known them longer and have a frigging degree in education doesn’t mean you are,” he shot back. “Besides, I’ve got something else, Lily.”
“And what’s that?”
“I’m not afraid. And you are.”
Even as a denial leaped to her lips, she felt something cold and dark reverberate inside her like iron struck with a mallet. How had he known? Could he smell fear like a predator?
Lily turned away and went over to the water cooler, trying to compose herself as she filled a cone-shaped paper cup and took a sip. He’d nailed the truth; she was afraid. She had built her life up around her like a wall, barricading her heart against hurt. She had never, ever planned to have a family. It was a conscious choice. She wanted her life to be her own, wanted to be free to go where she pleased and do what she wished, answering to no one. Taking on three children would change that irrevocably.
Ah, but look what it could give you, whispered Crystal’s voice in her ear. Some things are more important than being afraid.
“We’re wasting time arguing about this,” Sean said. “I need to get home. The kids deserve to know what’s going on. They love you, Lily, and if you show them that you have any doubts about this situation, they’ll know. Is that what you want?”
They love you, Lily. The words shuddered through her. “I want them to