then hesitated and set the mug on the sill above the sink. Then she nervously tried organizing the spice rack. She listened intently to the water in the kettle and took it off the heat before the whistle blew, then set the tea to steep.
She tried to spend her nervous energy on tidying the cupboards. They were so disorganized that the kitchen was barely functional. Crystal was a creative person, but not an orderly one.
Lily was standing in the middle of the kitchen, trying to decide where to stash a Pyrex measuring cup, when the sound of an engine crescendoed and then stopped. She heard the heartbeat thud of a car door opening and closing.
Thank God, Lily thought, rushing to the back door. She’s finally home.
It was Sean Maguire’s truck, she saw, her stomach dropping. He was alone. And walking slowly toward her.
The rising sun painted everything with precise strokes in roseate hues. Each blade of grass, every brick of the driveway, the texture of the tree bark, the shapes of budding leaves—all had been picked out in excruciating, exquisite detail by the glowing light. The colors of the sunrise lay upon Sean Maguire’s broad shoulders, his unkempt hair. His imposing silhouette stood out starkly as the new sun lit him from behind.
Lily stood on the threshold of the kitchen, her heart knowing the truth before her mind did. She couldn’t make out the expression on his face as he came toward her but, of course she didn’t have to. The terrible truth was in the aching stiffness of his gait as he approached.
There was a moment—a split second, really—in which she allowed herself to hope. But that quickly died when he stepped into the slant of light from the kitchen and she saw his face.
Lily decided to speak up first. At least that would buy a few more seconds. A few more seconds to believe the world was normal. A few more seconds to believe nothing had changed.
“The children are asleep.” It came out as a whisper.
He nodded. His throat worked up and down as he swallowed. Lily kept focusing on details—the way the beard stubble shadowed the shape of his jaw, the luxurious thickness of his eyelashes. She noticed a thin, fresh cut across the ridge of his cheek, held together by two small white butterfly bandages. The fact that he looked immeasurably older than when he’d left the house last night.
Lily thought about screaming. Maybe if she screamed, it would drown out the words he would inevitably say to her. She didn’t, of course. No amount of screaming would make the truth go away.
Stop. She made herself stop. This was absurd. “Where’s Crystal?” she finally asked. Oh, no, she thought, changing her mind, don’t say it, please don’t say it. A thickness of tears gathered in her throat.
“It was an accident,” Sean said.
It was what he didn’t say that roared loudest in her head. He didn’t say Crystal was all right. He didn’t say they were working on her, that she’d make a full recovery. He said nothing of the sort.
“Both of them?” she heard herself ask.
He nodded, his eyes tortured.
Lily had forgotten she was holding the Pyrex cup until she heard a thud and realized that she had dropped it. The cup hit the threshold and rolled onto the concrete walkway and, quite unexpectedly and bizarrely, stayed intact.
Both Lily and Sean ignored it.
She felt herself falling in slow motion, and the only way to stop was to fall against him, against his chest, and let the stranger’s arms come up around her.
She felt the strength of him but found no comfort there. Crystal was already gone, and the truth of that tore a gaping hole in the world.
And then it hit Lily that the man holding her had lost his brother. He shouldn’t be propping her up when he had grieving of his own to do.
She pulled away from him. There were screams of shock and horror that needed to erupt from her, but she wouldn’t let them. She would do at least that much for Crystal. She would not let the children find her a sobbing, incoherent mess.
Later, she told herself, stepping back from Sean Maguire. I’ll cry later.
chapter 15
Saturday
6:45 a.m.
“Where?” Lily asked, her whole body aching as though she’d been in an accident, too.
“The coastal highway, a few miles south of the Seal Bay exit.”
She wondered what they’d been doing way out there. “What happened?”