Oh, my God, she thought. Oh, my God. “I love you so much, Sean.” The moment she spoke those words, she realized she’d answered his question for both of them. The fear was gone. In its place, like a fire kindled under her heart, was a constant sense of yearning and anticipation for everything life offered. She knew that that might be hurt or happiness, but the difference was that now, she welcomed it all. She wasn’t afraid to go where the heart might lead her.
“It’s about damn time you said so.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” she said. “It didn’t seem…safe.”
At that he laughed quietly and touched her cheek. “Ah, Lily. It never is, but don’t ever let that stop you.”
chapter 51
Something was up, Lily was sure of it. The invitation, hand-drawn by Charlie and hand-delivered by Cameron, gave only a hint: “Please have dinner with us at La Dolce Vita, Friday at 8:00. Dress: Semi-formal.” Charlie had spelled everything correctly and illustrated the message with a picture of the four of them lined up by height. On the far side of the page was a portrait of Lily, a flattering one at that; Charlie had made her look a bit like Malibu Barbie wearing glasses.
Charlie’s cursive writing was clear and bold, a contrast to the shaky, searching way she’d written in third grade. Her fourth-grade teacher reported that Charlie was working at grade level in most subjects. Occasionally, the little girl would seem to go away for a while, lost in sadness, but she always came back. Grief would forever be a part of Charlie’s life, a facet of who she was, but she was no longer so haunted by pain that she couldn’t grow and thrive. Her natural exuberance had returned over the summer, and Lily felt privileged to have been a witness to the process.
Cameron rejoined the golf team and had already won the first tournament of the year. On the weekends, he caddied for his uncle, and Lily adored seeing them together, united in purpose, Sean treating Cameron as an equal and as the expert he was. Despite the fact that Sean had traded a major title for Ashley’s security, he was rising through the ranks. He would never be the champion his brother had been, Lily knew. The difference was, now he no longer wanted Derek’s career. He wanted his own.
Lily tucked the invitation into the frame of her vanity mirror and checked her hair and makeup—again. She felt a sense of gravitas about this evening. It was not just dinner. La Dolce Vita was a luxurious riverfront restaurant with a famous chef from Sorrento. With its formal gardens and air of luxury, it was the sort of place people went to celebrate their milestones—birthdays and anniversaries, bar mitzvahs and…engagements? After the tournament, after the things they’d said to one another, it was the next step. It had to be. Yet they’d gone their separate ways that night because Lily refused to stay over with him, not wanting to confuse the children. Then school started in a whirlwind of activity, and there never seemed to be enough time to explore what had begun between them that night.
The doorbell rang, startling her into smearing her lipstick. She quickly repaired the damage. Then, her nerves wound taut, she hurried to get the door. They all trooped in, filling her tiny house with their presence, and she gaped openmouthed at Sean. A tux. He was wearing a tux. Her knees went weak. Did he have any idea of how he devastated her? And the children looked glorious, Charlie with braids pinned on her head like a halo, Ashley all in pink and Cameron in a dinner jacket that made him look grown up and stunningly handsome. They stood waiting, polished and bright as new pennies, smiling at her.
“Wow,” Sean said, his gaze coasting over her from head to toe, then back up again. “Look at you.”
“I’m looking at everyone else.”
“Let’s just go. What’re we waiting around for?” Charlie was bouncing up and down with excitement until Cameron put his hand on her shoulder.
“Take it easy, moron,” he said. “It’s just dinner.”
“Is not. Uncle Sean’s going to ask Lily—”
“Lily, up,” Ashley said, tugging at her dress. “Please.”
Lily didn’t take her eyes off Sean as she picked up the baby. Ask Lily what? she wondered, aiming a look at him, but he was acting casual, whistling