What are you going to do about it?" My hand went to my throat, my gaze sliding helplessly to Megumi, who watched me with raised brows.
I lifted one finger up, asking for another minute, then turned my back to her and whispered, "I want you in my mouth."
"Why? To play with me? To tease me like you're doing now?" There was no heat in his voice, just calm severity.
I knew to pay careful attention when Gideon got serious about sex.
"No."
I lifted my face to the tinted dome in the ceiling that concealed the nearest security camera.
"To make you come.
I love making you come, Gideon."
He exhaled harshly.
"A gift, then."
Only I knew what it meant for Gideon to view a sexual act as a gift.
For him, sex had previously been about pain and degradation or lust and necessity.
Now, with me, it was about pleasure and love.
"Always."
"Good.
Because I treasure you, Eva, and what we have.
Even our driving urge to f**k each other constantly is precious to me, because it matters."
I sagged into the column, admitting to myself that I'd fallen into an old destructive habit - I'd exploited sexual attraction to ease my insecurities.
If Gideon was lusting after me, he couldn't be lusting after anyone else.
How did he always know what was going on in my mind? "Yes," I breathed, closing my eyes.
"It matters."
There'd been a time when I'd turned to sex to feel affection, confusing momentary desire with genuine caring.
Which was why I now insisted on having some sort of friendly framework in place before I went to bed with a man.
I never again wanted to roll out of a lover's bed feeling worthless and dirty.
And I sure as hell didn't want to cheapen what I shared with Gideon just because I was irrationally scared of losing him.
It hit me then that I was off balance.
I had this sick feeling in my gut, like something awful was going to happen.
"You can have what you want after work, angel."
His voice deepened, grew raspier.
"In the meantime, enjoy lunch with your co-worker.