He glared at her over his shoulder. “This isn’t you.”
“It’s me now. You’ve stayed away for two years. A lot has changed.”
Pivoting, he faced her again. “I figured you and the Tses would close ranks while you dealt with Steve’s death. I stayed out of the way.”
Rachel set the plate and fork down on the glass-topped end table. “I’m glad to hear that’s why you’ve been so distant. I thought maybe it was me.”
His jaw clenched and she knew she’d struck a cord. The confirmation hurt more than she’d thought it would.
“I would have asked you to be here,” she said, “if I could have used you. I feel comfortable doing that. Even before—when Steve was still here—I knew I could count on you.”
He snorted. “You never quite got used to me.”
“You’re larger than life, Jack. I’ve never met anyone like you before or since.” Her arms crossed. The raw magnetism and intense carnality that once overwhelmed her now set her libido on a steady simmer. She hadn’t realized until she started dating again that she was comparing her dates to Jack and finding they left her cold. “You are rarely entirely comfortable with me, either,” she shot back.
“So why do this? Why ask me this?”
Rachel was confused. He was looking at her like he wanted to nail her to the nearest wall, but he sounded like that was the last thing he was interested in. “Have you looked in a mirror lately? Do you hear the sound of your voice, all gravelly and sexy as hell? Are you completely oblivious to the bad-boy vibe you give off? Because I’m not blind or deaf.”
Jack’s dark and steady gaze was knife-sharp. His brows were drawn together in a fearsome glower, but she wasn’t intimidated. She was quickly picking up on the fact that he became the most fierce when his equanimity was threatened. Which meant, for better or worse, she got to him.
“You’re physically attracted to me,” she said, daring him to deny it. “So what’s the problem?”
He mimicked her pose, crossing his arms and displaying powerful biceps. “I’m flattered, but we’ve got too much baggage—and a future with Riley between us—to make casual sex work.”
Why would anything casual delve into baggage?
She looked away, hiding the spark of hope she felt. Jack knew damn well there was nothing casual about the sexual tension between them, and that scared him. Of course, he wouldn’t be the first drop-dead gorgeous guy to have commitment issues. In all the years she’d known him, he had never once had a steady relationship. If an event required a date, he’d bring one, but Rachel never saw him with the same woman more than once.
Needing to think, she picked up the plate and moved back to the kitchen. She took a bite of the cake and contemplated her next move. This was her first-ever seduction; she had no Plan B to fall back on. Giving up wasn’t an option.
“Rachel?” Jack’s voice was soft in the semi-darkness.
She ate a little more. “Hmm?”
“You got awfully quiet.”
“I’m thinking.”
He exhaled harshly, his head falling back until he was staring at the white-washed wooden beam ceiling. “I’m sure if you gave dating a shot, you’d find someone you liked.”
“I like you.” She spoke around another bite. She had long admired his fierce loyalty, but over the last two years since Steve passed on, she’d come to know Jack even better via his role as Riley’s godfather. Through the e-mails and phone calls he shared with her son, she discovered Jack possessed a deep capacity to love and nurture, a marked patience while teaching, and the ability to be open-minded and nonjudgmental. And she damn well couldn’t discount how just the sound of his voice turned her on. “But I have been dating.”
His head snapped upright. “Who? Do I know him?”
“Do you care?”
“Of course I care. I want to make sure you and Riley are all right.”
Rachel met his gaze directly. “I would never put Riley in jeopardy over a guy.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
She eyed him surreptitiously, noting his edginess while she felt amazingly calm. He made her feel safe enough to be bold. He didn’t yet know what that meant to her, but she intended to show him.
Jack moved toward the open sliding glass door. “What you and Steve had was special.”
“Once in a lifetime,” she agreed. She’d been the right girl to Steve’s right guy at the right time. And she felt that way about Jack. She was so sure they were what each other needed; it didn’t seem possible that she could be wrong. If he just gave her a shot, maybe he’d see she was the missing ingredient in his life. And if she ended up being the one in their relationship who loved the other one more, that was okay with her.