“Which house?”
“Both. For now.” She smiled. “And you wear a bulletproof vest all the time. No crazy heroics.”
“All the time?”
“Except when I want you naked.”
His mouth twitched. “I was hoping that would be all the time.”
“After last night, that is all the time.”
“Then I’ll be wearing body armor only rarely.”
“If you want me to kick your ass and deny you sexual favors, try it.”
Jack lifted his beer to his mouth to hide a smile. It was inappropriate considering the seriousness of the discussion, but Rachel always had that effect on him. She made him happy in spite of himself.
“You can talk to me about anything, Jack,” she said softly, all levity gone. “You can ask me anything, and I’ll try to come through for you. But you can’t tell me to let you walk away. I can’t do it, I can’t let you go.”
He swallowed and looked around the condo she’d bought after Steve died. It was the perfect size for her and Riley. The kitchen boasted new stainless-steel appliances and was big in relation to the overall square footage, which suited someone who baked for a living. The window over the sink had curtains with cupcakes on them—a housewarming gift from Steve’s mom.
“You have a good life here,” he noted. “You’ve got family nearby and a new business. Riley has his friends and classmates.”
“I do have it good.” She set her elbow on the counter, then her chin in her hand. “You do realize, don’t you, that I never could have done what I did last night with any other man? I can’t even imagine throwing myself at anyone else. Even with Steve, I waited for him to make the first moves. I was always afraid I’d stir up more than I could handle.”
Jack forced himself to breath deep and easy, trying to slow the rapid beating of his heart. “I was rough with you. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re in love. And I loved every moment with you. I wouldn’t change one thing that happened last night. I told myself I was strong enough to take you on, and now I know I can.” She smiled gently. “That’s not a surprise is it? That you’re in love with me?”
“No. I knew.” He watched as something hot and tender swept over her face. “I also know loving someone means wanting what’s best for them. I’m not good for you.”
He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to speak. “Hear me out. Any minute now, my phone could ring and I will have to go. Christmas, your birthday . . . I can’t promise I’ll be here. Once I leave, I won’t always know when I’ll be back. One of these days, you’re gonna wake up and realize you want someone around full-time.”
Rachel straightened. “I’ve been getting by on my own with Riley for two years. I don’t need a man around just because. I don’t have any problem going to bed alone. What I want is you. Not some interchangeable guy; not someone like Steve. Look at it this way: I already have the cake. You’re the icing on top, with sprinkles, candied fruit, and chocolate drizzle.”
“And I’m just as bad for your health,” he muttered.
“I want you going straight to my hips. I want the sugar rush and the toe-curling deliciousness. I’ve earned it.”
She licked her lips and his dick went hard, remembering what that mouth had done to him when he’d stepped out of the shower that morning.
Taking a deep breath, Jack laid it out there. “You’re asking me to risk losing you and Riley completely. I can live with what we’ve got now, but nothing at all . . . I don’t think I’d survive it.”
Rachel rounded the counter. “I’m deliberately keeping this light, because I don’t want to scare you off. I’m saving the heavy stuff for later, when you can’t run. I was thinking you should be handcuffed to the bed before I tell you that you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life and I’m the last woman you’re ever going to bed with.”
She walked right into him, hugging him tight. He had to restrain himself from squeezing her too hard. God, he was crazy for even thinking this could work.
“In the meantime,” she went on, “we’ll start with a race to see who can acquire the most frequent-flier miles by the end of the year, and work from there. Week by week, you’ll learn that not being able to live without me means living with me. Eventually, you’ll get used to not being alone and we’ll both become familiar with this new take-no-prisoners version of myself that you inspire.”
“You’re making this sound easy,” he murmured with his lips to the crown of her head, “but it’s not.”
She leaned back to look up at him. “No, we’re going to have to work on it and make some sacrifices and take risks. What I’m saying is it’ll be worth it. The difficult part’s already over—we both fell hard. It’s onward and upward from here.”
“Take no prisoners.” He shook his head and a small laugh escaped him. God, he was scared shitless. He didn’t know how to bring something precious and fragile into his life.
“Except for you.” Her hands slid up his back. Her lips whispered across his jaw.
Jack lifted her feet from the floor. “I want to be good for you.”