“Fine.” She pulled her tank top up and over her head. Everything roiling inside me coalesced into a single driving need.
I straightened, every muscle tense and straining.
She reached behind her back to unsnap her bra.
My dick hardened painfully as her lush, firm tits bounced into view. I’d never been a breast man before Eva. Now …
God. They made me lose my mind.
“Talking isn’t what’s going to happen if you take your clothes off,” I warned, my cock throbbing.
“You’re going to hear me out, ace, whether it’s out here or in the shower. Your choice.”
“Tonight isn’t the night to push me.”
She dropped her shorts.
I had my pants opened and on the floor before she finished stepping out of the silky triangle she wore as underwear.
Despite the building humidity that fogged the room, her nipples tightened into hard points. Her gaze fell to my cock. As if she imagined tasting me, her tongue slid along her lower lip.
My hunger for her rumbled up from my chest in a near growl. Eva shivered at the sound. I wanted to touch her … to put my hands and mouth all over her …
Instead, I let her look her fill.
Her breathing picked up. Seeing the effect I had on her was painfully, undeniably erotic. What I felt when she looked at me … it moved me.
She remained by the door. Steam drifted over the top of the shower, encroaching on the edges of the mirror and misting my skin. Her eyes dropped to my throat. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Gideon.”
My hands fisted reflexively. She couldn’t say those words to me and not redirect my attention. “What are you talking about?”
“Just now, when we were in the bedroom. I could sense you pulling away and there was this panic I felt …”
Eva fell silent for a long moment. I waited, reining my lust back with a deep breath.
“Holding off until the wedding … It’s not just about Dr. Petersen’s advice or the way you cope with fights.” She swallowed. “It’s about me, too. You know how I was—I told you. Sex was all twisted up for me for a long time.”
She shifted on her feet, shame bowing her head. It made me sick to see it. It struck me then that I’d been too wrapped up in my own reactions to the events of the last week without thinking about what my wife was going through.
“It was for me, too,” I reminded her gruffly. “But it’s never been that way between us.”
She caught my gaze. “No. Never.”
My clenched fists relaxed.
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t still twist things up in my head,” she went on. “You walked into the bathroom and my first thought was that I should fuck you. Like if we have sex, it’ll fix everything. You won’t be mad anymore and I’ll have your love again.”
“You always have it. You always will.”
“I know that.” And from the set of her jaw, I could see that she did. “But that didn’t stop the voice in my head from telling me I’m risking too much. That I’m going to lose you if I don’t put out. That you’re too sexual to go so long without it.”
“God.” How many times and ways could I fuck this up? “The way I talked to you on the beach … I’m an asshole, Eva.”
“Sometimes.” She smiled. “You’re also the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That voice has been screwing me up for years, but it doesn’t have the same power anymore. Because of you. You’ve made me stronger.”
“Eva.” Words failed me.
“I want you to think about that. Not your nightmares or my parents or anything else. You’re exactly what I need, just the way you are, and I love you so much.”