“Better.” She came toward me and I took a step back, causing her to slow and her smile to waver. “Do you have a moment?”
I gestured to my office.
With a deep breath, she turned and preceded me. I glanced at Scott. “Give us ten.”
He nodded, his gaze sympathetic.
Corinne walked to my desk and I joined her, hitting the button that closed the door behind us. I kept the glass clear and didn’t remove my jacket, sending her every signal that she shouldn’t settle in for long.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Corinne.” Saying the words wasn’t enough, but they were all I could give her. The memories of that night in the hospital would be with me for a while.
Her lips whitened. “I still can’t believe it. All these years of trying . . . I thought I couldn’t get pregnant.” She picked up the photo of Eva on my desk. “Jean-François told me you called a couple times asking about me. I wish you’d called me. Or returned my calls.”
“I don’t think that’s appropriate, under the circumstances.”
She looked at me. Her eyes weren’t the same shade of blue as my mother’s, but they were close, and their sense of style was similar. Corinne’s elegant blouse and trousers were notably like something I’d once seen my mother wear.
“You’re getting married,” Corinne said.
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “Yes.”
Her eyes closed. “I’d hoped Eva was lying.”
“I’m very protective when it comes to her. Tread lightly.”
Opening her eyes, she set the picture down hard. “Do you love her?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I don’t owe you one, but if you need to hear it, she’s everything to me.”
The tightness of her mouth softened with a quiver. “Would it make a difference if I told you I’m getting divorced?”
“No.” I exhaled roughly. “You and I will never be together again, Corinne. I don’t know how many times or in how many ways I can say it. I could never be what you want me to be. You dodged a bullet when you broke our engagement.”
She flinched, her hair sliding over her shoulder to flow down to her waist. “Is that what’s keeping us apart? You can’t forgive me for that?”
“Forgive you? I’m thankful.” My voice softened when tears filled her eyes. “I don’t mean to be cruel. I can guess how painful this might be. But I didn’t want you to have hope when there isn’t any.”
“What would you do if Eva said these things to you?” she challenged. “Would you just give up and walk away?”
“It’s not the same.” I raked a hand through my hair, struggling to find the words. “You don’t understand what I have with Eva. She needs me as much as I need her. For both our sakes, I wouldn’t ever give up trying.”
“I need you, Gideon.”
Frustration made me curt. “You don’t know me. I played a role for you. I let you see only what I wanted you to see, what I thought you could accept.” And in return, I saw only what I wanted to see in her, the girl she’d once been. I had stopped paying real attention long ago, and so I’d failed to see how she had changed. She’d been a blind spot for me, but no longer.
She stared at me in shocked silence for a moment. “Elizabeth warned me that Eva was rewriting your past. I didn’t believe her. I’ve never known you to be swayed by anyone, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
“My mother believes what she wants and you’re welcome to join her.” They were similar in that way, too. Good at believing what they wanted and ignoring any proof to the contrary.
It was a revelation to realize I had been comfortable with Corinne because I’d known she wouldn’t pry. I’d been able to fake normalcy with her and she never dug deeper. Eva had changed that for me. I wasn’t normal and I didn’t need to be. Eva accepted me the way I was.
I wasn’t going to reveal my past to everyone, but my days of playing along with the lies were over.
Corinne reached a hand out to me. “I love you, Gideon. You used to love me, too.”