I gnawed on my lower lip a minute. “How would she hurt me?”
“I don’t know. It’s enough for me that she wants to.”
“Like would she break my leg? My nose?”
“I doubt she’d resort to violence,” he said dryly. “It would be more fun for her to play mind games. Showing up where you are. Letting you catch glimpses of her.”
Which was more insidious. “So that you’ll go to her. That’s what she really wants,” I muttered. “She wants to see you.”
“I won’t be obliging her. I said what I needed to.”
Looking down at our joined hands, I played with his wedding band. “Anne, Corinne, Deanna . . . It’s a bit crazy, Gideon. I mean, I don’t think this is normal for most men. How many more women are going to lose their minds over you?”
He shot me a look that was patently not amused. “I don’t know what’s gotten into Corinne. None of what she’s done since she returned to New York is like her. I don’t know if it’s the medication she was on, the miscarriage, her divorce . . .”
“She’s getting divorced?”
“Don’t take that tone, Eva. It doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to me if she’s married or single. I’m married. That’s never going to change, and I’m not a man who cheats. I have more respect for you—and me—than to be that kind of husband.”
I leaned forward, offering my mouth, and he took it in a soft, sweet kiss. He had said exactly what I needed to hear.
Gideon pulled back, nuzzling his nose against mine. “As for the other two . . . You have to understand that Deanna was collateral damage. Fuck. My entire life has been a war zone and some people have gotten caught in the line of fire.”
I cupped his jaw, trying to stroke the tension away with soothing brushes of my thumb. I knew just what he meant.
He swallowed hard. “If I hadn’t used Deanna to send a message to Anne that the door was closed between us, she would’ve been just a one-night stand. Over and done with.”
“But she’s okay now?”
“I think so.” His fingertips brushed my cheek, the touch reflecting the one I’d given him. “Since I’m sharing, I’ll say that I don’t think she’d turn me down if I tried to hook up—which I won’t—but I don’t think she falls in the woman-scorned category any longer.”
“Yeah, I knew she’d hit the sheets with you again if she could. Not that I blame her. Do you have to be so damn good in bed? Isn’t it enough that you’re hot, and have an amazing body and a huge cock?”
He shook his head, clearly exasperated. “It’s not huge.”
“Whatever. You’re hung. And you know how to use it. And women don’t get awesome sex very often, so when we do, we can go a little nuts over it. I guess that answers my question about Anne, since she had you repeatedly.”
“She never had me.” Gideon sat back, slouching. Scowling. “At some point you’re going to get sick of hearing what an ass**le I am.”
I curled into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. “You’re not the first insanely hot guy on the planet to use women. And you won’t be the last.”
“It was different with Anne,” he grumbled. “It wasn’t just about her husband.”
I stilled, then forced myself to relax so that I didn’t make him any more nervous than he already was.
He sucked in a quick, deep breath. “She reminds me of Hugh sometimes,” he said in a rush. “The way she moves, some of the things she says . . . There’s a familial resemblance. And more. I can’t explain it.”
“Then don’t.”
“Sometimes the line between them blurred in my mind. It was like I was punishing Hugh through Anne. I did things to her I’ve never done with anyone else. Things that made me feel sick when I thought about them later.”
“Gideon.” I slid my arm around his waist.
He hadn’t told me this. He’d said before that it was Dr. Terrence Lucas he was punishing, and I was sure that was part of it. But now I knew it wasn’t all of it.
Gideon sat back. “It was twisted between Anne and me. I twisted her. If I could go back and do things differently—”
“We’ll deal with it. I’m glad you told me.”