"Of course." His legs tightened around mine, capturing me. "Where are you going with this?"
"You segregate sex from the rest of your life. You separate it from friendship, work...everything."
"I've got good reasons for doing that."
"I'm sure you do. Okay, here are my thoughts." It was difficult concentrating when I was so close to Gideon. "I told you I don't want to date and I don't. My job is priority number one and my personal life - as a single woman - is a close second. I don't want to sacrifice any of that time on a relationship and there's really not enough left over to squeeze in anything steady."
"I'm right there with you."
"But I like sex."
"Good. Have it with me." His smile was an erotic invitation.
I shoved his shoulder. "I need a personal connection with the men I sleep with. It doesn't have to be intense or deep, but sex needs to be more than an emotionless transaction for me."
"Why?"
I could tell he wasn't being flippant. As bizarre as this conversation must be for him, Gideon was taking it seriously. "Call it one of my quirks, and I'm not saying that lightly. It pisses me off to feel used for sex. I feel devalued."
"Can't you look at it as you using me for sex?"
"Not with you." He was too forceful, too demanding.
A sizzling, predatory glimmer sparked in his eyes as I bared my weakness for him.
"Besides," I went on quickly, "that's semantics. I need an equal exchange in my sexual relationships. Or to have the upper hand."
"Okay."
"Okay? You said that really quickly considering I'm telling you I need to combine two things you work so hard to avoid putting together."
"I'm not comfortable with it and I don't claim to understand, but I'm hearing you - it's an issue. Tell me how to get around it."
My breath left me in a rush. I hadn't expected that. He was a man who wanted no complications with his sex and I was a woman who found sex complicated, but he wasn't giving up. Yet.
"We need to be friendly, Gideon. Not best buds or confidants, but two people who know more about each other than their anatomy. To me, that means we have to spend time together when we're not actively f**king. And I'm afraid we'll have to spend time not actively f**king in places where we're forced to restrain ourselves."
"Isn't that what we're doing now?"
"Yes. And see, that's what I mean. I wasn't giving you credit for that. You should've done it in a less creepy manner" - I covered his lips with my fingers when he tried to cut me off - "but I admit you did try to set up a time to talk and I wasn't helpful."
He nipped my fingers with his teeth, making me yelp and yank my hand away.
"Hey. What was that for?"
He lifted my abused hand to his mouth and kissed the hurt, his tongue darting out to soothe. And incite.
In self-defense, I tugged my hand back to my lap. I still wasn't completely confident that we'd worked things out. "Just so you know there are no exaggerated expectations - when you and I spend time together not actively f**king, I won't think it's a date. All right?"
"That covers it." Gideon smiled and my decision to be with him solidified for me. His smile was like lightning in the darkness, blinding and beautiful and mysterious, and I wanted him so badly it was physically painful.
His hands slid down to cup the backs of my thighs. Squeezing gently, he tugged me just a little bit closer. The hem of my short black halter dress slipped almost indecently high and his gaze was riveted to the flesh he'd exposed. His tongue wet his lips in an action so carnal and suggestive I could almost feel the caress on my skin.
Duffy began begging for mercy, her voice drifting up from the dance floor below. An unwelcome ache developed in my chest and I rubbed at it.
I'd already had enough, but I heard myself saying, "I need another drink."
Chapter 5