The Sweetgum Ladies Knit for Love - By Beth Pattillo Page 0,96
to her, this admission was the last thing she would have expected.
“Because you have a good heart. Because you recently lost your father, your home. You know about grief.” His voice wavered on the last words before he caught himself, stood up straighter, and banished the emotion from his voice. “That night we ate at Tallulah’s, after I kissed you, you thought I was going to say I paid attention to you because I felt sorry for you.”
“I didn’t—”
“You did. And I let you think that. I walked away and left you believing that was my motive.” He moved to the side and stepped around the end of the counter. Two short steps, and he stood directly in front of her. Her heart pounded as ferociously now as it had the last time he’d been so close.
“I don’t understand.” She wasn’t sure whether the conversation or his nearness scrambled her brain more.
“That night, I wasn’t going to say I felt sorry for you.”
“You weren’t?”
“No. I was going to say that I kissed you because I felt sorry for myself.”
“Oh. Well, that makes me feel much better. Better to be the nearest warm body than an object of pity.” If he’d wanted to offend her on purpose, he hardly could’ve been more effective.
“No.” He clasped her upper arms with his hands and drew her toward him. “I wanted to say I felt sorry for myself… except when I was with you.”
Maria hadn’t seen that coming. “But—”
“Why do you think I stayed in Sweetgum so long? I used every trick in the book to keep running into you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t believe—”
“You should. You should believe it.” His hands moved upward, skimming her shoulders, and then cupped her face. “My sister, Kimmy died in a car wreck last summer.” Sheer emotion twisted his features. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything but grief again. Never. Until the day I walked into this store. I behaved like a jackass that day, and you let me know it. You looked at me as if I was a bug you should squash under your shoe.” He leaned down, ever closer. “You irritated me. You challenged me.” His lips were a breath away from hers. “You made me feel something again.”
“James—”
“No. Don’t say anything. Please.”
Her heart raced so fast she thought it might explode.
“Just kiss me,” he said.
Maria wanted to, more than anything, but she was too fragile to risk her heart on a man as difficult and withholding as James Delevan.
“I can’t.” With one quick move, she pulled free and stepped back, bumping into the display shelves behind her. “I’m sorry about your sister. I don’t know exactly what that’s like, to lose a sibling, but I’ve done enough grieving in these last months to know a little about loss.” She kept moving backward, intent on putting distance between them. “But I can’t—”
“Why not?” His expression turned thunderous, as black as his hair. “Fine. Punish me for being an idiot. Just tell me how long I have to suffer before you’re satisfied.”
Maria’s mouth fell open in shock. “That’s what you think of me? That I’m the kind of woman who would enjoy seeing you suffer?”
“I wouldn’t have thought that until now.”
“You are the most arrogant man I’ve ever met.” The pinpricks of guilt that had stung her disappeared. “Not everything is about you, James Delevan. I know that may be a hard concept for you to grasp, but other people have actual lives, actual problems.”
“I know that,” he snapped back. “Give me a little credit.”
“What do you want from me?” she demanded. “Other than to soothe your grief?”
He ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stand on end. Finally, James Delevan looked less than perfect. She should have found more satisfaction in the sight than she did.
“I want—” He broke off, shaking his head in exasperation. “I don’t want anything from you,” he said. “I just want you. To be near you, with you. To talk to you as much as possible.” The last words came out in a whoosh of breath, leaving him almost gasping for air.
“But why me?” His words set loose that traitor hope in her heart. “Of all the women you must know, why in the world would you want to be with me?”
James looked down at the knitting basket at his feet. He leaned over and retrieved her book. “How did Darcy know Elizabeth was the one for him?”