he wasn't sure. He didn't consult a calendar. Every day was the same, blending together in a blur of whatever. He came and went, here and there, going all over but staying nowhere, like one of the city's vagrants. The only time the world slowed enough for him take a breath was when he was near her. It was the only time he felt like a person, like he'd lived through what happened. The rest of the time, he was still just waiting to flat-line.
He was about to leave, walking through the silent apartment, when he stalled at the front door. Covering the peephole, stuck there with a strip of medical tape, was a scribbled note in messy handwriting.
Working 'til 7 in the AM.
XO, Gabby
PS – You're welcome to stay.
He tugged it off the door, shoving it in his back pocket. He left, engaging the locks that he could, feeling guilty for leaving her apartment exposed. His head was a fog as he made the trek downstairs, groggy like he hadn't quite woken up yet.
"Are you deaf?" a voice asked when Dante stepped out onto the sidewalk. "Or do you just not listen?"
Dante turned, finding Gavin leaning against the building. "What?"
"What?" Gavin mimicked, shoving away from the wall near the intercom. "Twenty-four hours ago, I told you to leave Gabriella alone, but here you are, coming out of her building, still wearing the same damn clothes from yesterday. Oh, but you're not fucking her, right? That's what you said, isn't it?"
Dante slowly blinked at him, his eyes trying to adjust, but it was pointless. Shaking his head, he muttered, "I'm not awake enough for this bullshit."
He took a few steps before Gavin grabbed his shoulder. "Dante."
Dante pulled away from him but stalled. Annoyance swelled through him that he tried to keep at bay, but his patience was still asleep somewhere. "I swear to fuck, Amaro, I don't want to fight you, but if you put your hands on me one more time…"
Gavin raised his hands. "I'm not trying to fight you. I'm just trying to understand."
"Understand what?"
"What's wrong with you."
Dante blinked at him again. Gavin looked serious, like he was genuinely trying to understand, like he just didn't get it. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Gavin's brow furrowed, his stance defensive. "No."
"Maybe you ought to get one," Dante suggested. "Someone else for you to worry about so you'll stop riding my ass. Because I'm flattered, you know, that you care, but you're starting to make me wonder if you're about to boil my bunny here, and I'm not down with that, G."
Gavin glared at him. "It's not like that and you know it. I just don't like what I'm seeing."
"Why?"
"My cousin—"
"Don't give me that 'my cousin' bullshit. You started acting funny before you knew I was fucking her."
Surprise crossed Gavin's face. "So you are."
"Don't change the subject. Where I stick my dick is irrelevant to why you're acting like a sentimental bitch. Is it because of my sister? Is that it?"
Something flashed in Gavin's eyes, something Dante couldn't quite figure out. "What about your sister?"
"What about my sister? How about the fact that my father wrote her off and just went on living like she never existed? The fact that I wasn't here… the fact that I was gone… the fact that I didn't do anything to stop it. The fact that nobody did anything to stop it!"
Gavin frowned. "You're upset."
"Of course I'm fucking upset."
"It's not your fault, man. You didn't do this."
"Didn't stop it, either."
"You couldn't."
"I could," Dante countered. "I could've stopped it long ago. Could've done something the day she came home and said she'd met a guy named Matty. Could've done something when I ran into Matteo and realized he was the Matty she met. Could've done something when she started lying to my face. Because I knew. I'm not stupid. I knew, but I did nothing. I did nothing when I found him in our house—a Barsanti—because she begged for his life, and I couldn't bring myself to hurt her after she told me she loved him. I did nothing, when I could've. But instead, I waited until her fate was sealed, and even then I took out the wrong Barsanti! I fucked up bad, and because of that, I wasn't here to do anything when somebody needed to do something."
Gavin just stood there on the sidewalk, staring at Dante. People walked by, casting curious looks their direction, but Dante didn't care. It didn't matter who overheard.