mine until we’re no longer touching, and her eyes drop.
A cavern of emptying loss opens inside me as I watch her go. I realize I can shield myself against everything else in this life—but I will never manage to keep Anna out. She’s under my skin. She’s in my head and in my heart, stretching out and taking up residence. When she leaves, the imprint of her stays, as always, but it’s not enough.
It’s never enough.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Alive
“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception.”
—“The Only Exception” by Paramore
“Come on, man,” Blake says. “We’ll grab a drink.”
We’re still standing in his driveway, staring down the street where Anna’s rental car has disappeared into the distance. When I don’t move or respond, he hits my arm to get my attention.
“I’ll be in in a bit,” I say.
He gives me a funny look, trying to read me.
“That’s some crazy shit she told us, right?” he asks. “About the prophecy?”
I nod, staring back down the street until he sighs.
“All right, fine. I’ll give you a minute, but hurry up. We only have one night until my pops gets back from wherever the hell they are.”
“Vegas.”
“Yeah, whatev. Just have your moment and getcha self inside. I’mma kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto.”
I know he’s trying to cheer me up. While other blokes would be having a party or going out, our idea of non-parental fun is just the opposite.
He jogs to the house, leaving me to stare down his private drive. She’s gone and I’ve no clue when I’ll see her again.
“Come on, Kai!” he calls from the doorway. With stiff movements I force myself to go. He hands me a chilled beer and sits in one of his video game chairs in front of the giant screen.
I play and try to relax, but I keep thinking about the prophecy. At what cost will the earth be rid of demons? At the cost of Anna’s life? I won’t let her die alone to make this happen. I’ll go down fighting with her. I’d die today for a chance to see them all sucked permanently into hell with me.
But I’d die with one regret. I’d die wishing I’d shown Anna how I truly felt. I’d spend eternity in hell wishing I’d had one proper moment with Anna where I wasn’t scheming to sleep with her, or pushing her away.
One night with no games between us.
In that moment, I’m filled with a sudden panicked sense of urgency.
My car crashes and burns on the screen and Blake laughs. I jump to my feet, startling him.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“I have to go.” I know I must look deranged. That’s certainly how he’s looking at me, but I don’t care. I run to the kitchen, where I think I’ve left my keys, and he jumps up to follow.
“Where are you going? We have one night to chill! Don’t leave me hangin’.”
I find my keys with the silver skull and drumstick crossbones, and I nearly run into Blake.
“I have to stop her.”
He’s still looking at me like I’m a lunatic. “Who, Anna? For real? But . . . you’re always so careful, trying to stay away from her. What about her dad, man?”
“Fuck him.”
He chuckles, but shakes his head. “This is a bad idea,” he sings as I brush past him.
I spin on my heels and eye him as a sudden grin overtakes my face. “It’s the best idea I’ve ever had, mate.”
I turn and he grabs my arm, getting uncharacteristically serious. “Just tonight while they’re away, Kai. After tonight you can’t mess around like this.”
“I know,” I promise him. “Just tonight.”
I must look like a wild mess when I approach the old fellow at the ticket counter. I’ve run from the parking lot and it’s hot as balls out there.
“I need to get something to my friend,” I tell him as I catch my breath. “She’s on flight four twenty-eight to Atlanta. Can I see her? Just for a moment?”
“No, sir. I would suggest calling her if she has a cell phone.”
“She’s got it switched off. Can you page her?”
“I cannot. That flight is about to start boarding. I’m very sorry.”
But he’s not sorry. His aura is clearly annoyed. He’s already looking past me like he’s going to tell the next customer to come forward. I wave my hand. “Wait! I’ll buy a ticket.” I yank my