“Hush,” I say, turning to Anna. She’s beaming at first, then cringes.
“Oh, sorry! Didn’t know you were on the phone.” She smiles and covers her mouth, turning to the bartender for a drink.
“What a cow,” Marna mutters.
“Tell me what else you’ve heard, Marn.”
She pauses too long. “Like I said, nothing.”
My skin heats. As usual, I go for worst-case scenario. “Something’s happened. Is anyone hurt?”
“No!”
Second-worst-case scenario. “Did they hook up?”
Marna pauses too long again, and this time pain alights along my skin as if I’m being eaten by fire ants. She lets out a fake laugh. “No . . . don’t be silly.”
Marna is lying. She always pauses awkwardly before she lies.
“I’ve got to go.” I sound as deadly as I feel.
“Kaidan, wait!”
“You paused, Marna.” I let this sink in.
She sounds frantic. “Please, listen. It’s not what you think.”
“It’s exactly what I think.”
“No, I mean it. There was just one moment, one tiny kiss, but they’re not—”
“Stop,” I whisper fiercely, squeezing my mobile. “I don’t want to hear it.”
I can’t believe this is happening. In this moment I acknowledge to myself that I always held out a small hope that Anna would never allow it to happen, no matter how much Kope pursued. But she gave in, and for all I know maybe they’ve been together all along and the news just now got to Marna. They might’ve even been together when I saw her in February, a thought that wrings my lungs of air.
Within a matter of seconds, I rebuild the walls around myself that Anna Whitt tore down. The I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-anything walls. My jaw clenches and I sit up straighter.
I don’t care.
I don’t feel.
Nothing can touch me.
“Kai?” Marna whispers on the other end of the phone. I scarcely hear her.
Anna from work stands in front of me, staring down at her phone. Her aura is gray with disappointment and she lets out an “Ugh.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask her. Marna tries to pipe up, and I say, “Not you, Marn. Hang on.” I put the phone to my shoulder and look at the frowning Anna.
“My roommate is coming home and doesn’t feel good—she doesn’t want any people over.” She pushes straight strands behind her ear.
A sickening sort of determination to prove just how much I don’t care comes over me. “Brilliant,” I say. Anna’s eyebrows come together in confusion until I say, “Party at my place, then.”
She slowly grins. “Really?” Her excitement makes my gut twist with nervous guilt, but I ignore it. I’ve put this girl off for too long. And for what reason? If my Anna is moving on . . . I shake my head. Not “my” Anna. She’s never been mine.
Raj bounds over and slaps me on the shoulder. I put the phone back at my ear as word spreads that I’m having people over. My parties used to be epic, so the guys are stoked.
“Gotta go, Marn. Fun to be had.”
“Don’t do it, Kai. It’s not—”
“Bye, then.”
I hang up and my stomach turns. For the first time, I don’t try to move away or escape when Anna talks to me, playfully pushing my arm or slapping my knee. She can sense the difference. I see it in the way she’s searching my face, wondering if I’ve finally seen the light.
Yes. Yes, I have. And it’s blinding.
She’s filled with happiness and excitement, bright and shining.
I give her my attention, but my chest is filled with a hive of stinging hornets.
We waste no time moving the festivities to my place, and soon it’s overflowing with people. The party fills the whole apartment complex as neighbors open their doors and filter over. Music blasts from my speakers loud enough to shake the floors, just how I like it. Everywhere I look people are drunk, high, dancing, snogging, falling on one another, laughing. Anna sits between Raj and Bennett on the couch, playing a drinking game with cards.
I lean against the wall, watching as people drift past. My rage has not subsided. It’s still in my eyes when Anna glances up and catches my gaze. She appears taken aback by the intensity there, her aura zapping with excitement and trepidation. Her guardian angel sees this and starts whispering to her. I want to tell the poor fellow not to waste his spiritual breath.
I raise two fingers and beckon her to me. Without a word to the other guys, Anna gets up and makes her way through the crowd, nervous but determined. They watch her. She stands before me