woman named Patti who loves her fiercely—even I took to the woman straightaway. And I can’t believe what I’ve agreed to. I’ve gone completely mad, but the thrill of it is all-consuming.
Her words tumble through my mind as I let myself in the front door of my house.
“What will happen if I don’t, you know, do all the stuff your father told me to? Because I’m not going to . . .” “I want to wait until I’m married . . .” “My mother was an angel . . . A guardian angel . . .” “What does it mean to be Nephilim?”
The girl is half angel, half demon. An anomaly. I’d laughed and told her she’s a walking contradiction, but truly I’m mesmerized. I keep wondering what it must be like to be both. It’s unheard of. And to be raised and nurtured by a human . . . wow.
And though it’s all fascinating, her stubbornness against changing her ways cannot possibly last. Now that Father knows about her, she belongs to the Dukes—at least her body does. And they expect her to use her body for their purposes. Tomorrow morning I’ll be up bright and early to begin teaching her the ways of the Neph—
My thoughts are interrupted when I pass the sitting room. I stop dead in my tracks, shocked at myself for forgetting. Father is standing beside the leather sofa, where Marissa sits with a small girl at her side. The girl I’ve been dreading.
Fuuuuuuuck.
No, no, no. I want to scream and rail. This cannot be happening.
She is just as young as the pictures.
“Come in, Kaidan,” Father says.
I do as he says, and I see Marissa put a hand on the girl’s leg when she whimpers. I can’t bring myself to look the child in the eyes.
“Kaidan, this is Marissa’s newest niece, Viktoria. We were hoping you could help ease her into her new life.” His words are so casual. I’ve heard them a thousand times. Though I’ve never liked this aspect of my “job,” I’ve never been repulsed like this.
I grab the back of my neck, trying to steady myself.
“She doesn’t speak English,” Marissa says. “But some things are universal, yes?” She and Father share a smile. “She is to remain a virgin, of course.”
I allow my gaze to flicker to the girl, whose eyes are red-rimmed. Her light hair is pulled into loose pigtails. Her feet dangle, not touching the floor, in worn Mary-Jane-style shoes. I step back, causing Father’s eyes to glow like a stoplight. Marissa and the girl do not have the ability to see his eyes redden, and I wish I didn’t either.
“Is there a problem?” he asks through clenched teeth.
The answer should be “No, sir.” I could try to force myself. I could try to think of someone else. Anna’s face flashes through my mind’s eye. She would cry if she saw this. I look at the little girl’s feet again, and I can’t. I just bloody can’t.
“Kaidan,” Father whispers, and that one word is laden with warning.
I dare to lift my eyes to his and open my mouth to speak the words. “I will do anything you ask of me that’s in my physical power, Father. You know that. But I cannot force my body to react to a child. It’s just . . . not my thing.” I grab the back of my neck again as he stares at me. I’ve never defied him.
“Shall I get you a Viagra?” he asks. I nearly scoff. Oh, yes, that’s just what I need. Artificial lust. Marissa cackles in mirth at his cruel teasing.
“Anything but this,” I whisper.
“Are you morally against it?” He edges toward me, fire in his eyes. “Do you think the services Marissa is providing to hardworking clients are beneath you?”
“Of course not,” I lie.
“Are you like the other prudes in society who think their brand of lust is the only acceptable one?” He is right in my face now, and my heart is racing.
“No, sir. Lust is lust.”
“Then what is the problem?” he shouts, and spittle forms at the edges of his mouth.
Marissa is grinning, and the girl Viktoria begins to cry. Marissa pulls a fucking sweet from her purse and gives it to the child, crooning, “There, there.”
Father continues his tirade. “Did you not tell me you can feel lust for anyone?”
Shite. I should have never told him that.
“Not anyone, sir. Only those who lust for me first.”