“Then get ready for some tough love, my friend.” She stopped at an empty Cleopatra machine, parking her hand on the queen’s golden headband. “This is what you need to realize—and none of this is to belittle what you’re feeling. But sweetie, you don’t get to be angry. You don’t get to own this feeling of resentment.”
He narrowed his eyes and shot her a look. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not denying your role in this loss. I’m not saying it isn’t painful, or shocking, or sad. I get that you lost something you didn’t even know you had lost,” she said, speaking in a thoughtful, teacherly tone. “But I’m giving you a couple hours, maybe a day, to feel all those things on your own. And then your job is to be there for her. You don’t get to own this hurt. It is hers. She went through it.”
Mindy’s words were iced water splashed onto him. They were the stark reminder that he couldn’t co-opt Shannon’s grief or pain. His was a fraction of hers.
“So what do I do?”
“Be the man she needed you to be ten years ago. The man who doesn’t walk away when you hear that shit didn’t go in your direction.”
“I didn’t walk away,” he said, trying to defend his actions. “I told her I needed time to deal with it.”
Mindy nodded a few times, acknowledging him. “Fine, you needed time. You needed space. I understand. It was a shock. Well, you had your time and you had your space. Now man up, and be who she needs. That’s all you’ve wanted,” she said, slugging his arm. “You have wanted her to need you. You’ve wanted her to want you back in her life. Now she does, and you walk away at the first bit of bad news?”
“I didn’t—”
She held up her palm. “Talk to the hand. You can say you didn’t walk away, and maybe you didn’t, but I bet it feels like that to her. Think back to Boston. Rewind to ten years ago. You hated it when she wouldn’t give up her career for you,” she said, her voice rising as she sent him back in time. “And what did you do in response then? You walked away from her. Now, you hear another thing you don’t like, that she lost a baby, and you do the same. You walked away again. You can finesse it all you want, and say you needed space, but the net effect is the same.”
Her words shamed him. They knocked him out of his stupor of self-loathing. He had wanted so badly to be everything she needed, but when push came to shove, he’d let pride, and fear, and a million other things stand in the way last night.
“Shit,” he said, heavily. “I’ve fucked up.”
“No. You haven’t fucked up,” she said, pressing her fingers to his cheeks and turning his frown upside-down. “You just took a step back. Now, take some steps forward. This time, instead of walking away, walk back to her. Be there for her, and for yourself. I know it’s hard and I know you’re feeling this loss too in a new fresh way. But feel it with her, not against her. Talk to her about it. Don’t run away. Don’t hide. Face your fears with her, and tell her how you feel,” she said, squeezing his shoulder. “And move through it together.”
“I need to see her right away.”
“You do.”
Brent cycled back to their last few conversations, trying to figure out where she might be. “I think she’s on her way back from L.A. Should I, you know, do that thing where I show up at the airport with a sign that says ‘I love you?’”
Mindy clutched her belly and laughed deeply. “God no. That only works in the movies. Besides, you know she’s a private person. She wouldn’t like that. All she wants is you. Not a sign. Not a gift. Not some cheesy love song dedicated to her. Strange as it may be, she wants you. So give her you.”
“Can I borrow your phone for a second?”
Mindy dug into her pocket, and handed it to him. He dialed Shannon’s number. It went straight to voice mail.
* * *
Her grandmother slid a mug of tea across the counter. “Have some.”
“I don’t even like tea, and you know that. But you always try to give me tea,” Shannon said, but she said it with a smile. She knew why