A Sweet Mess - Jayci Lee Page 0,94
base of her neck. She looked younger and more relaxed than Aubrey had ever seen her. And she was baking. Linda Choi did not bake.
“Hi, sweetie. My St. John’s suit felt like a weighted vest, so I borrowed one of your sweatshirts.” Her mom blushed as she glanced down at herself. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. I’m glad we wear similar sizes. You can borrow anything you need. I made the switch to maternity clothes a few weeks ago,” Aubrey said, tugging on the stretchy material at her tummy. The stomach panel was made of a magical material that stretched way out and supported the bump without squeezing it. “These leggings are crazy comfortable; I don’t think I’ll ever wear regular tights again.”
“Oh, my baby. You’re so beautiful,” Mom said, going to Aubrey and place her hand on her stomach. Sniffling away her tears, she tested the secret panel and whistled. “Wow. I wish they’d had those when I was pregnant with you.”
Aubrey beamed at her, warmed by the shared moment, and her mom ushered her to the table, bustling around with joyous energy. Soon, a small feast lay before her.
“This looks amazing, Mom.” Aubrey lowered her head, close enough to feel the steam coming off the goodies, and breathed in heaven. “The kitchen smells exactly like Grandma’s. I had no idea you knew how to bake.”
“It’s been so long, you might break a tooth on that biscotto.”
“Oh, my God.” Aubrey’s words were muffled because she was stuffing another bite of said biscotto into her mouth.
Jelly Bean loved the almond biscotto and fluttered in her tummy. It was perfection. So were the lemon bars and sticky buns. Aubrey was too stuffed to try the cherry upside-down cake, but she knew it would taste just like Grandma’s.
Her mom sat across from her and fiddled with her fork. “You’ve always been braver than I have.”
Aubrey stared at her with a mouthful of lemon bars. Even if she could speak, she wouldn’t know what to say. This new mom not only knew how to bake a mean biscotto, she’d just initiated the Big Talk. She was going to stick with staring for now.
“I was very young when I met your dad, and I never got over the feeling that he was way out of my league. The more I fell in love with him, the more afraid I became of losing him.” Linda glanced down at her hands and took a shuddering breath. “I was only twenty-four when I first found out about your father’s dalliances. I confronted him, and he wept at my feet. He promised it would never happen again, but it did.”
“Why didn’t you leave?” The question that had been burning at the back of her throat for years broke free in a fragile whisper.
“I did, but I only stayed with your grandma for a few weeks before I went back to your father.” Her mom lifted her gaze and bit her trembling lips.
Then Aubrey knew, and it felt like a punch in the gut. Her mom had her when she was twenty-five. “You found out you were pregnant. You went back because of me.”
“That’s what I told myself. That I went back and stayed with your father for you.” Tears were streaming unchecked down her mom’s pale cheeks. “But that’s not true. I was afraid of being alone, of struggling to provide for you. I had already lost myself by then. I was a scared shadow of my old self with no hopes or dreams of my own. I used the pregnancy as an excuse to go back.”
“Mom.”
“Let me finish. You need to hear this. I need to say this.” She wiped her face with her palms and straightened her back. “I know I wasn’t there for you. I shut everyone out, drowning in my nightmare. I failed you. I failed myself. I know I could never make it up to you, but I have to try. Will you let me?”
“Mom, you don’t need to ask. I was a horrible teenage brat, and adult me wasn’t much better. I wish I’d been there for you, too, instead of hurting you and making you feel more alone.” Aubrey’s tears weren’t of sorrow but of freedom and peace. “You and I, we let Father’s toxic influence break us apart. Break us. Never again, Mom. No one will take away our confidence and shove us in a corner.”
“Never again.” Her mom’s eyes were bright with tears and determination.
* * *
“Yes.”