Sweet Joymaker (Indigo Bay Christmas Romances #3) - Jean Oram Page 0,42
she’d scold her friends if she caught them thinking that way. What was the worst that would happen if she grabbed what she wanted and let everyone deal with their own emotional fallout?
“Do you think your ex-husband agonized over dating Sophia the way you are with Clint? I bet he thought something along the lines of this being his one life and wanting to live it the way he wanted to. He decided to do what makes him happy.”
“He was a selfish jerk,” Maria said, her heart thrumming with anger. “The way he acted was completely inconsiderate.” He’d thrown so much away, caused such upheaval and hurt. She couldn’t be like that.
“He broke your heart, in order to make two hearts happy. That’s not bad math.”
“But it was wrong.” Maria winced, biting her lip to help focus her thoughts. But was it? Would she rather he’d stayed with her even though their love was gone and he was thinking about someone else? That would have been a different kind of wrong, and quite possibly more awful.
“Are you gonna take some action, or are you gonna sit at home and break your own heart as well as Clint’s because you think you don’t deserve love?”
“It’s not about deserving love.” Just saying that filled her with longing. With Clint she felt special and cherished. It was nice having someone ask what she wanted. Nice putting her needs first sometimes—even if they were frivolous and trivial.
“How do you think your grown-up boys would feel if they knew you hadn’t accepted someone’s love and had lived out your remaining days as a lonely old thing because you believed they weren’t mature enough to handle it? Did you not raise men who care about others?”
“This isn’t about them.”
“It is if you’re using them as an excuse.”
Maria sighed at the logic. How was it that Kit, Clint and Fiona were all echoing each other this week when they argued with her? Was her perspective on things really that muddled?
“I suggest you sit on that beautiful beach with a glass of wine and get yourself sorted out. Clint’s been waiting for you for a very long time, and if you push him away, he might just decide he’s going to go find love somewhere else.”
“He already did.”
“What?”
“He left.”
“I thought his flight was for tonight.”
“It was.”
“Why? Why did he change it? Was this before or after his… proclamation?”
“He didn’t say why and he changed it before.”
“Garfield! Yeah, you. No, I don’t have coffee. I’m still on the phone. Why did Clint change his flight home?”
Fiona was quiet for a moment, listening to Garfield. Then she said to Maria, “He doesn’t know. But that poor mechanic has been pining over a married woman for a decade. Pining, Maria,” Fiona said firmly. “Do you hear me? He took his chance and my guess is that you got scared and shut it down and so he retreated.”
“He didn’t just retreat. He left me.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. He didn’t leave you. You know where he is.” She lowered her voice. “Maria?”
“Yeah?”
“He’s a good man.”
“I know.”
“He’ll walk out that door forever and leave you your space if that’s what you ask for.” Fiona let that sink in. “So you need to sit down and think real hard about what you want and what you’re afraid of before it’s too late. You hear?”
Maria sighed in reply.
“Go get that glass of wine and think. Then call me once you’ve made your decision about this man. And know that if it’s not the right one, I’m gonna march all the way to Indigo Bay and set your head on straight.”
The firmness in her friend’s voice made Maria smile. “You’re the best friend a woman could ask for, Fiona.”
“No one can dish it like I can.” Her voice became stern as she addressed somebody on the other end of the line. “Garfield, get up off your knee. You’re being ridiculous.” She gave a worldly sigh. “I’m a married woman and my advice was for Maria, not me, not you.”
“Maybe it’s advice you should take, too,” Maria said. But the line had already gone dead, leaving her with nothing but her friend’s words repeating in her head.
Chapter 9
Several days after the state championship game Maria sat in the spacious kitchen at the Sweet Meadows Ranch, a fresh cup of peppermint tea in front of her. She wasn’t thirsty, but she liked the smell of peppermint when she was feeling out of sorts. She had boxes of tea in