Sweet Joymaker (Indigo Bay Christmas Romances #3) - Jean Oram Page 0,39
had to believe him when he said, “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for, Maria.”
And there was that out-of-control feeling she hated. He was getting serious, fast. Her chest tightened. Her heart battled her mind, and she didn’t know what to think, say or feel.
He needed to slow down and take a deep breath. She’d agreed to go on a few dates back home to stave off boring evenings alone. She hadn’t agreed to be the one he’d been waiting for.
She’d long ago left behind that heady hope of falling in love at the drop of a hat and believing it would all work out, and he knew that.
“We have too many miles behind us. How can you believe in an optimistic happily ever after? Especially based on such a quick whirlwind romance, or whatever this was?”
“Sometimes you just know.” His hands reached for hers, gripping them.
He was so confident, so sure. But how long would that last?
“Haven’t you ever just known?” he asked, his shaggy locks giving him a boyish vibe.
“What I’ve known is partnership. Roy was my focus for a long time, our lives entwined. Our love waned, but we still had what was important. We were in it together until the end.” And then he’d changed his mind, fallen in love with someone new.
“That wasn’t love, Maria. A partnership is very different from love.”
“A partnership is what’s left after the passion fades.”
“Maybe if you’re with the right person it stays on.”
“My boys still need me,” she whispered, extracting her hands from his.
“Your boys are fine. They’re finding their own loves, their own lives.”
“They need me on the ranch. They all lost a lot of weight when I was living in town. I take care of so many details.”
“Being with me doesn’t mean you have to give that up. What’s important to you is important to me.”
“Quit saying that! You know the ranch is my life.”
“There’s no room in your life for me? Is that what you’re saying?” The hope and happiness she’d seen shining in his eyes faded. “Your sons seemed okay with me being around.”
“They think you’re wonderful, but they aren’t ready for me to move on.”
“Were they ready for Roy to do so?”
“It’s different. I’m their mom.”
Clint’s frown showed he disagreed. She knew it was a weak argument, but it felt real. Men left. Women stayed, picked up the pieces and ensured the children didn’t get too emotionally bashed in the wake of family turmoil.
“Maybe they’re ready for you to live your own life. Have you thought of that? Have you tried talking to them like they’re adults?”
His sharp tone of impatience was like a slap.
“I’m not using them as an excuse,” she said sullenly.
“Then why don’t you get to have a life? Why can’t you find love?”
“It’s not love.” Her voice wobbled.
“What are you afraid of?” Clint asked. His tone was soothing, as though he was attempting to prevent a breakdown.
She was strong, though. Too strong to fall apart. She was strong enough to look out for herself and make tough decisions.
“Clint, I think you’re special. I love spending time with you, and our dates have been wonderful. You’ve brought me a lot of joy.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened. “You’ve brought me a lot of joy, too.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea, however. I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Maria.” His jaw tightened with determination. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“See? That’s just it.” A flash of anger, hot and searing, ripped through her. “Men leave, Clint. They make big promises and then they take off. You don’t love me, because you don’t know me. You think you do, but you don’t. You say what’s important to me is important to you. But you know what’s important to me right now?” She pointed to the sand beneath her feet, her anger rising like the ocean waves. “Here? Today? You and me spending time together. That’s important. And you’re leaving. You’re breaking your promise to me.”
Clint inhaled slowly. She could see him contemplating what to say, how to talk her off this edge so he could stick to his plans.
“It’s too fast, Clint. I’m not ready for this kind of stuff.”
He swept his hands through his hair in frustration.
“I’m not ready for more hurt. I’m not ready to turn my life upside down for someone else.” She crossed her arms, daring him to argue. “I told you we could see each other, but you’re already breaking promises and assuming I’ll just be here, all happy as