Swallow it Down - Addison Cain Page 0,24

And his smile was kind, the gray at his temples charming, considering.

And what was there to say except, “I’m sore.”

Nodding in understanding, he said, “We’ll talk about it again in a week or two. There’s no rush.”

No rush, because not one of them believed she’d ever leave the boat. “Would you like to play another round of chess?”

Which she would win, because she always won. The tri-state chess champion. Full ride to Harvard Med. From a prestigious WASP family of scientists, dripping in privilege. Who’d been given her first strand of pearls at her sweet sixteen.

Who met and fell in love with Li Wei at a lecture on anatomy, pickled corpse between them. Li Wei, who went after his family when she begged him not to go near the radiation.

Who was dead now, by one means or another.

Everyone was dead. And those who were alive traded carnival tickets for sexual favors and a chance to play chess with a girl in a blue cotton summer dress covered in dried come. The torn, conservative outfit far more humiliating than any of the stripper costumes the women rotated between them.

A girl who had a job, and that job was to engage with the guests. “Were you married… before?”

“Aye, with five kids, if you can believe it.” The older gentlemen, unlike the younger, did like to look back with a smile.

“I wanted to be a pediatric surgeon. Was in my second year of Harvard Med. I like kids.”

“Yeah? We all pegged you as a bookworm.”

That earned a half-hearted chuckle. “Sure. Textbooks. The more graphic the better. Show me a broken femur and the pins and screws that hold it back together any day.”

“You must find us boring.” And clearly she’d embarrassed him, the older man blushing as he made a poor move on the board.

“No.” And that was true. None of them were boring, not that many of them weren’t totally disgusting. “For example, I think you’re nice. I think Gus could use more soap. I think Benji’s jokes are vulgar, and I like the way François says my name. Eugenia.” She took his queen, basically ending the game, though it would take him ten more moves to realize it. “I’m a lot of things, but bored isn’t one of them.”

“Angry?”

“Yes.”

“I can understand that too. Five kids, remember?”

“And a wife.”

“I can’t think about her…” Because by the shadow crossing his face, it hurt too much.

She understood that too, but had always been a glutton for punishment, it would seem. “His name was Le Wei. I think about him. And how fucking stupid he was for going straight to Boston instead of listening to me. His family was dead. My family was dead. Everyone was dead. And he was a fucking medical student who knew exactly what that level of radiation would do to a human body.”

“Yeah, well, us guys have never been too good on the listening part.”

“I think he wanted to die. I think a lot of people—right after it happened—couldn’t handle what they knew the world would become.”

“You seem like you’re doing all right.”

She took another piece. A rook. “I’m about five minutes away from throwing myself over the side of that railing. Headfirst, because I know that, from this height, my neck will break on impact.”

Eugenia didn’t mean it. She couldn’t have. But it felt like exactly what should have been said. And maybe even what she should have done. But she never would. Too stubborn and with too many scores to settle first.

“Did you hear my news?” Brooke was nothing but grins as she rushed up and threw her arms around a startled, unexpecting Eugenia. “Tomorrow, I get to disembark. Early, thanks to you.”

“Oh! Wow.” Were her eyes stinging again? “That’s wonderful. Really? Congratulations. I’ll be there to cheer you on.”

“I’m going to go south. Just like you suggested, so the winter’s aren't so cold.”

Well, that was how geography typically worked, but the distance she’d have to walk to reach it would take months. “Stay away from City. Or outposts with weapons. Small farming communities always need an extra pair of hands. Do you have a compass? A map?”

But Brooke wasn’t listening, already moving to the next girl to rejoice in her freedom.

“Don’t trust anyone!” Eugenia shouted over the party’s din. “Don’t stop to help anyone! Never stop!”

“You’re going to get in trouble if you keep that up. He’s already looking,” her chess partner warned. Gesturing to her cheek, to her bruise, he whispered, “And I’d rather not see