The Survivor - Cristin Harber Page 0,43
mean.”
“Tell me, anyway.”
Her lips pressed together. “You’re cute when you’re trying to convince me of something.”
Hagan smiled. “Good to know I have a secret weapon.”
“It’s just—” She pressed her arms to her side but inched closer. “I haven’t dated in a very long time, and I don’t even think it’s a good idea.”
“Because?” he asked.
“It’s complicated.” She winced. “That sounds like a cop-out, but I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t know what to do about me.” Hagan crossed his arms and let his eyebrows inch up.
“Yeah.” She pressed her palm to her forehead and shook her head. Then she laughed. “Wow, I feel like a huge nerd telling you this.”
He appreciated whatever she explained. One day, maybe he’d get why it was so hard. “I have a feeling you’re not telling me even a tenth of what you need to say.”
Her eyes rounded, all but confirming his guess.
“But I don’t care.” He sat down and studied her expression. “Tell me something different that makes you nervous.”
She scoffed. “Why would I do that?”
“Don’t know.” Hagan lifted a casual shoulder. “Then you’d worry about that and not me.”
She laughed. “Cute.” Then Amanda bit her lip as if she didn’t trust herself to share another word.
“How about this,” he offered. “I’ll order room service again, and then let you in on something that’s worrying me.”
Hesitatingly, she agreed, and they ordered room service for the second time. When Hagan hung up the phone, he pushed his lips and settled back into the couch. “I’m worried I fucked up with Boss Man.”
Her lips formed an O, but before she could apologize or protest, he tugged on her dark ponytail to keep her attention. “I’d have done it all over again.”
Amanda hummed. “How’d you join Titan?”
“Good question.” He thought to the chain of events that landed him in Abu Dhabi. “I helped a friend of a friend when he needed help to protect his woman.”
Her eyebrows arched. “Wow.”
“That’s when I met Jared.” He wished he knew how Amanda and Jared met. Even with what he’d learned about her background, Hagan wasn’t convinced they didn’t have some type of May-December romance. He’d never thought about how old Boss Man might be, just that he’d earned his place in the world and had created a security firm that had the respect of global leaders. But the guy had to be in his thirties, at least. “Jared offered me a job that was too good to be true. I’d have been a fool not to take him up on the offer.”
“Why do you think it was too good to be true?”
“The money,” he admitted. “I know people aren’t supposed to talk about that kind of shit, but that’s the reason. My family needed what Boss Man paid.” He shrugged, uncomfortable with the amount of information he felt compelled to share. “I had a steady stream of contract work before that, but joining Titan added a layer of stability.”
She seemed lost in thought, and then asked, “Do you like the work?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I couldn’t ask for a better team. The gigs are never dull. We get plenty of downtime. But that’s all secondary to supporting my family.”
She curled her knees to her chest and gave her complete attention. “That sounds like a huge responsibility.”
He could see that she wanted to ask why. Hell, diving into an explanation was something he usually avoided. Even though he had so many questions about this woman, he wanted to explain himself. To a point. Some old wounds were still too raw to share.
Hagan shifted on the couch so that he better faced Amanda. “My dad died when I was a sophomore in college. Heart attack.”
“I can’t imagine losing a parent. I’m sorry.”
“A week later, my brother—half-brother, really, but he’d been my big brother since the day I was born.” His throat tensed. “There was an accident at work. He died.” Words never seemed to do history justice. Hagan didn’t want to spoil the discussion with details that might bring up politics or make Amanda feel she needed to offer heroic platitudes about a situation she could never understand. One day, he might give her more of an explanation. But not likely. Hagan wasn’t sure he could ever let go of his anger to do right by his brother’s memory.
Amanda laid her hand over his. “I’m so sorry.”
Hagan appreciated the sentiment but, if he were going to explain what he’d meant about providing for his family, he had to keep going. “It was