my future. Add someone that is depending on me… What a daft thing to ask, why. I don’t even have medical after this season. How will I even pay for a doctor?”
“I have plenty of money, a steady and well-paying job with a few backup plans, and a house. We can figure out how to add you to my medical plan. Take those off your list of fears. What else?”
Sara turned toward him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, both things lost to the darkness. “How can you be so blasé about this? This is totally unexpected. I mean… I don’t even know you. Not really. You were right earlier—I do still see you as a fourteen-year-old. I can’t help it. I don’t know the handsome man sitting in front of me. And then I seduced you, without thought to repercussions—this is so screwed up.”
Hot tears were rolling down her face. Shallow, panic-stricken breaths racked her body. He was there a moment later, pulling her into his hard chest. His strong arms came around her, holding her tight.
“Shhh, sweetie,” he cooed, smoothing her hair.
“You see? This is why I didn’t want to talk about it.” Her words were muffled in his sweatshirt. “I don’t have a grip. I’m sorry, though. For what I did. For… the other night.”
“Don’t. Don’t apologize for that.”
She closed her eyes, feeling like he needed more of an explanation. “Just… I mean, I know you, but I don’t really know you. You know? I kind of let stuff get carried away the other night. It’s just kind of…”
She was doing a terrible job of this. “I feel weird about what we did.” There, she’d said it.
“Why?” he asked a moment later. “Because we’re friends?”
“Because you’re practically my brother. We grew up together.”
“Because I know you more intimately than anyone else on the planet, is that it? We’re not related, even distantly, but we’re more than friends, I grant you that. So the problem is that you haven’t crossed the line into the mature version of love.”
“Don’t you feel just a little disgusted that you had sex with someone that you helped potty train?”
“I’m less than three years older than you, and barely more mature, if at all—there is no way I helped potty train you. Your mother is telling stories. I might’ve dragged you across the road when you peed your pants, but that’s about it.
“But at any rate, at fourteen, when I left, my love for you was already starting to become the romantic kind. I still know that girl I grew up with, and I still love her with a solidity that doesn’t exist in most marriages. You were the love of my life before I even knew what that meant. I wanted to marry you before I hit double digits. You’ve been my dream girl my whole adult life, and it intensified when I saw you in that barn, waiting patiently for your life to finally begin. I love you, Sara Michaels, and this love is as deep as family but as raging and ardent as the best sex on earth. The only regret I have is not waiting until you were ready. Until you realized that you love me in the same way I love you. What we had as kids was more than just deep friendship; it was the budding of forever. I’ve come to collect.”
Sara stood in a rush with tears in her eyes. Hands fisted at her sides, she wanted to blindly run from what he said. From the deep movement in her chest, hinting that he was right. From the pain of Phil walking away. From the fear that if she gave her heart to another, even if it was Mikey, that she would put everything she had into it, and it wouldn’t be enough. He would walk away too. And this time, he might be walking away from more than just her.
“I seem to always jump the gun on things,” he said quietly, the firelight dancing across his strong features. “I probably should’ve waited at least another day, until you were exhausted and delirious, to tell you all that.” He nonchalantly returned his gaze to the fire with a small smile playing across his lips.
“I want you to know, that if it wasn’t for certain death, I would walk away right now and never look at you again!”
“Melodramatic. Always was your default.” Mikey’s voice was colored with humor. He hadn’t bothered to look up.