Surrender to the Will of the Night - By Glen Cook Page 0,175

lifeguards and the absence of courtiers did not foreshadow another difficult situation.

Katrin did get personal. And became personable. A little food, a little wine, doing wonders for her mood.

She quizzed him about his past and plans, about Anna Mozilla, the children, what he thought of Helspeth as a person and his feelings toward her. She knew an uncomfortable lot about Piper Hecht. As always, she came to the question that seemed to consume her: Had he and Helspeth yet been intimate?

“This is difficult, Your Grace. The answer is, no. We haven’t. Nor will ever be. Though I might find it difficult to keep my place if she insisted.” He might want to sell a dangerous lie later.

“Helspeth wouldn’t insist. Helspeth is dutiful to the needs of the Empire. But a well-timed nudge could tip her over with her heels in the air.”

Katrin was tormenting him. Trying to provoke him. Being jealous of Helspeth. Again. “I’m not comfortable discussing these things, Your Grace. My role is to help you liberate the Holy Lands.”

“As your Empress we’re free to interpret your duties as it please us, Commander of the Righteous.” Using an Imperial “we” for the first time in his experience. With a tremor in her voice.

Hecht was frightened now. He had a notion where Katrin was headed. He did not want to be there when she arrived. But he saw no way to escape.

Katrin said, “Have you heard rumors about my private court, Commander?” Voice more tremulous.

He could not deny that. “I have, Your Grace. Canards put about by your enemies, surely. All rulers suffer such things.”

“But you’re afraid there might be some truth there, aren’t you?”

“It isn’t my place to be concerned. My mission …”

“Those rumors might be true, Commander. I’ve become infatuated with human coupling. I’ve made some of my ladies mate with their lovers while I watch. Some find that exciting.”

Most, he suspected, had been humiliated. Their humiliation would be what Katrin fed the darkness within her.

“You don’t think well of me. For that. I don’t think well of myself. I did stop watching those who objected. I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity, anyway.”

Which left Hecht puzzled. And disinclined to believe her.

“Of course. I’m no virgin. Why should I be curious? Because Jaime is my only experience. Jaime was never the kind of lover my ladies whispered and giggled about when they thought I wasn’t listening. Jaime was a brute. He did nothing to make me want to be there while he spilled his seed. My agents found other women he used during his stay in Alten Weinberg. His ill usage wasn’t reserved for a disdained spouse.”

“Your Grace, I beg you. This isn’t something I need to hear.”

“But you do. Jaime of Castauriga is, was, the watershed event of your Empress’s life. Jaime of Castauriga created what you see: A woman sick in body and soul. A woman who can’t fulfill her foremost duty to the Empire. I can’t produce an heir.”

Hecht tried to be reassuring. He failed.

“Commander, I know there are diplomats out west trying to lure Jaime back. For my sake. For the sake of the succession. For the sake of their own ambitions. It doesn’t matter. He won’t come. The conflict between the Jaime I imagined and the Jaime of reality will shape me for as long as I go on. My problem at the moment is my terror, knowing I may not go on long.”

Hecht grew uncomfortable in a different way.

Had he misjudged? Was she just venting secret torments? Ridding her soul of things she could not share with anyone else because anyone else would use her revelations as political tools?

“Commander, I’m dying. Slowly, but definitely getting there.”

“Uh …”

“It isn’t just the poison. Though I’ll never fully recover from that.”

“But …”

“The second pregnancy. It did something to me. Sometimes I’m deathly sick. The physicians and healing brothers can’t figure it out. Can’t make it go away. I piss purple and turn blue. It brings on episodes of madness. I don’t know that while they’re happening. People tell me, afterward. When it’s sometimes too late to undo the damage.”

Hecht was becoming more comfortable in his discomfort. This was, indeed, just a guided tour of Katrin’s inner hell. “Not to insult you in any way. Have the healers considered exorcism?”

“I’m sure they’ve discussed it. They haven’t had the nerve to suggest it. Should I raise the matter myself?”

“That might ease their fears.”

“When we get back to Alten Weinberg, then. Meantime, I have a new assignment