food (mostly beans) is dry and bland. The cava is acidic. The conversation is sparse and difficult, like digging for carrots in rock-hard soil. Claire doesn’t give a lot. I mean, she really makes it hard. How on earth does she motivate a research team at GlaxoSmithKline? The only plus of the experience is, it’s made me want to call up all my real friends and gratefully fall into their conversational laps.
At last we get in the cab that Dan’s ordered to take us home and wave goodbye. (We offered a lift to Claire, who declined, thank God.) Then Dan leans back in his seat in satisfaction.
‘That was amazing,’ I say hastily. ‘Just amazing!’
He grins. ‘You liked it, huh?’
‘I was blown away,’ I say truthfully. ‘To think you went to all that trouble … I’m so touched.’ I reach over to kiss him. ‘Overwhelmed.’
And I really am. Arranging a reunion was the most thoughtful thing to do. He couldn’t have chosen a better treat. (Except if it was with, you know, someone I actually liked.)
‘She’s not what I imagined,’ Dan says, curiously. ‘Was she such a fierce vegan at uni?’
‘Well …’ I have no idea. ‘Maybe not that fierce.’
‘And her views on composting.’ He widens his eyes. ‘She’s quite vociferous, isn’t she?’
Dan just made one flip remark and had to put up with a humourless rant, which he took in the best possible spirit. All for me. I could see him peering at Claire, thinking, Why on earth did Sylvie want to get back in touch with her?
I bite my lip, trying to quell a rising laugh. One day I’ll tell him the truth. Like, in a year’s time. (Maybe five years’ time.)
‘Anyway,’ says Dan as the cab swings round a corner. ‘I have one surprise left.’
‘Me too.’ I touch his knee. ‘Mine’s a sexy surprise. Is yours?’
‘It’s pretty sexy.’ He meets my eyes and I can see the glint in them, and then we’re kissing properly, passionately, just like we used to do in taxis all the time, before the ‘back seat’ meant ‘two car seats and bumper wet wipes, just in case’.
My surprise is some tingly massage oil. It’s supposed to be ‘super-stimulating’, not that Dan seems as though he needs much extra stimulation today. I wonder what his surprise is? Underwear, maybe? Agent Provocateur?
‘I can’t wait,’ I murmur into his neck, and I stay nestled up against him all the way home.
As we head into the house, the girls come running to greet us, shrieking something about a ballet show, and Karen follows behind, her eyes shining in expectation.
‘Was it awesome?’ she demands, then turns to me. ‘Now you see why I chose Dan’s surprise. A reunion! I mean, a reunion!’
‘Yes!’ I try to match her tone. ‘It … blew me away!’
Dan’s phone bleeps with a text and his eyes gleam. ‘Already!’ he says, then looks up. ‘Karen, you can go now. Thanks so much for stepping in.’
‘Of course!’ says Karen. ‘Any time!’
Dan looks suddenly keyed up, I realize. Really keyed up. As Karen waves goodbye and shuts the door behind her, he starts tapping a text into his phone. Is this about the sexy surprise?
‘So, shall we plan the rest of the day?’ I say. ‘Or …?’
‘In a minute,’ says Dan, as though barely hearing me. ‘In a minute.’
The atmosphere has become weirdly tense. Dan’s mouth keeps twitching into a smile. He keeps glancing down at his phone and walking to the front door and back. He seems in such a ferment that I feel a squirm of excitement myself. What on earth is his sexy surprise? If it’s that epic, should we have gone to a hotel for the night?
The doorbell suddenly rings and we both jump.
‘What’s that?’ I say.
‘A delivery.’ Dan’s mouth won’t stop twitching. ‘A very special delivery.’ He opens the door and a delivery man in a black anorak nods curtly at him.
‘All right? Dan Winter, is it?’
‘Yes!’ says Dan. ‘All ready.’
‘We’ll get it out the van, then. Will we be all right, spacewise?’ The guy comes in a step and peers around.
Dan nods. ‘I think so. You should be able to get it through the hall.’
I’m gaping at them in shock. Get what through the hall? This isn’t a set of underwear from Agent Provocateur, is it? It’s something that needs two men to haul it out of a van.
Oh my God, it’s not some sort of … equipment? Should I hurry the girls away before they glimpse something that will