“I have not told them anything. I have said more than once that it’s up to them, but it’s entirely possible they know how much I disapprove of that idea. I find it very painful. She is the woman you left us for. You can’t expect us to be happy with either of you, but the fact that you do means you’re more oblivious to the damage you’ve done than I thought.”
“We’re divorced,” he said angrily. “I expected you’d get over it by now!”
She laughed. “In a few weeks?” she asked incredulously. “Check back with me in a few years.” She disconnected. She looked at Adele. “Sometimes this divorce seems like it exists on another plane. In another solar system. He just said he thought I’d be over it by now. We’ve been apart three months and divorced three weeks.” She laughed again. “I don’t even know him anymore.”
“He really said that?” Adele asked.
Justine rolled her eyes. “He’s taking this all so well...” she said facetiously.
“If you think about it, Scott has never been overly concerned about anyone but himself. I mean, he seemed a nice enough guy and I suppose he was a good dad, but he had one primary concern. Himself.”
“I think you’re right. But I did think he loved me,” Justine said. “Now I wonder if he’s had many girlfriends over the years. God knows he had the time. I’ve decided not to burden myself with that question.”
“You’re different now, Justine,” Adele said.
“So are you,” Justine tossed back with a smile.
“How am I different?”
“Well, you’ve taken the world by storm. You have new confidence. Do you even realize how beautiful you are? You’ve always been, but you never seemed to wear it so well. I think it’s the combination of the new job and your new weight loss. I noticed it first with the job. Even when we talk on the phone you’re stronger and more self-assured. I’m very proud of you.”
“It started with you,” she said. “Or, more accurately, Scott. I know it must have hit you hard, but it had a wallop effect on me. I remember thinking we can’t count on anything. Or anyone. If Scott could leave a brilliant, beautiful woman like you, there is no point in counting on anyone but ourselves. It motivated me. The first thing I did that very morning after leaving your house was find a weight loss program and began an earnest research of jobs.”
Jake brought the bottle of wine to the table. “You girls just visit while I clean up.”
“Leave it, Jake,” Adele said. “I’ll get it later.”
“I’m having a good time watching you two visit. I’m happy to pitch in. Then I’ll join you.”
When he left them, Justine said, “I should have been so much more supportive of you and all you did, Addie. I regret that now. I can’t remember the last time we had a nice dinner together. I gave all that energy to a man who didn’t deserve it.”
“It makes sense that the divorce, especially after so many years, would have a huge impact on you but I didn’t expect this change. I have never seen you this relaxed.”
“I am, at the moment. But it comes and goes. When I wake up in the morning without that stomach cramp, when I realize the feeling of abandonment and betrayal wasn’t my first feeling when I woke, I just pray it lasts all day. Or that I have a few mornings in a row like that. It’s getting better. I’m learning to enjoy a day without feeling lost. And afraid.”
“I never once thought of you as lost or afraid,” Adele said.
“Law school tends to train you in the appearance of confidence even when you don’t feel it. There is something I noticed, however. Once I realized that no matter what, I would never take Scott back, I started to get a new feeling. It was the sudden realization that I don’t ever have to care if Scott is happy again. I felt like I lost a ton of deadweight.”