use you for a sounding board,” she said. “I’ve been thinking a lot about your advice. It’s that business of focusing on what I have instead of what I’ve lost. Once the divorce is final, we will have divided our retirement funds. Also, there’s a little savings. You mentioned looking for opportunities. There are a couple of things that interest me. But they’re risky.”
“Well now,” he said, a little humor in his voice. “Looking for someone to run them by?”
“Yes, exactly. But first, our settlement so far. Scott will get half. And there’s the house, which has a healthy equity. The only things that are untouchable are the college funds. We’ll remain co-owners of the house, each paying half the mortgage. And there’s alimony. I’ve agreed to pay Scott half of what I earn for five years.”
“I know you’re going to get to the risky part pretty soon...”
“I’m thinking of starting a private practice. A neighborhood law practice. I would make very little money for at least the first couple of years, but I can live off my savings.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Assuming you’re a good lawyer, that doesn’t sound all that risky. Sounds like you’d just have to budget carefully for a while.”
“Scott wouldn’t be getting much alimony.”
“Awww... Didn’t you say he has a degree? Is there some reason he can’t get a job?”
“Yes, they don’t need a stay-at-home parent anymore. They’re self-sufficient. They’ve been in school the last ten years! Not that they haven’t been in need of available parents, but I’ve participated in that almost as much as Scott. And yet...” Her voice trailed away.
“Justine...?”
“Sorry,” she said, sniffing.
“Okay, take your time. Are you breaking down?”
“No! No! It’s just that... I don’t know how to do it, Logan. Even though I was doing it, I wasn’t doing it alone. There was always one more adult on the team. Backup, you know?”
“I know,” he said. “And there’s a loud, tearing sound when they rip themselves out of your life. It’s the betrayal, Justine. You have to take it slow. One step at a time. It’s easier when you have food and sleep to keep you going.”
“I know,” she said.
“So, the divorce diet. How much have you lost?”
“Oh, just eight pounds,” she said. “I can spare it. But I’m not used to this confusion... I walk into the grocery store and don’t know where things are even though I’ve been shopping there for years. I don’t know what to buy. No one has given me a list. And I’ve changed all my credit cards, but I’m still popping up on Scott’s accounts or his name is still haunting mine. I’m used to being much more organized. I’ve always had a memory like a steel trap. Lately my mind is mush.”
“It doesn’t help when a vision of your husband with another woman pops into your mind. What a thought, huh?”
“You sound like you can relate,” she said.
“Yeah, try to imagine the visions I was getting. That was a long time ago now. Listen, it’s a process. I remember mailing my tax return to my mother. That was pretty embarrassing, but I regained my clear thinking and common sense over time.”
“I’m so angry,” she whispered.
“Of course you are,” he said. “Hell, I’m angry for you! Sometimes talking about it helps.”
“I’m leaning on you. I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t apologize. Tell me about this fantasy practice.”
She leaned back against her pillows. “In my mind there are a variety of clients with varying issues. Property settlement, estate issues, divorce, lawsuits, business sales or closures. I think I could consult with local tech firms I’ve worked with in the past. It would be so refreshing to help people with things that will make their lives better. Adoption. Prenups. Partnership agreements. Family trusts. Charitable foundations. The neighborhood law office.” She took a sip of her wine. “I could do other things, even that of a criminal nature. Arrests, DUI, custodial interference. Then there’s personal injury claims. It takes a while to build a practice, but there’s no shortage of need for legal services.”