The Sun Sister (The Seven Sisters #6) - Lucinda Riley Page 0,108

I mean, you know how much I didn’t want to come in here, but I’ve met some great people and I kind of feel safe here, you know?’

‘We’ve never discussed when you might want to leave, because both of us have known you haven’t been ready to go yet. You have seven days left until your thirty-day treatment programme is over. You’ve come on in leaps and bounds in the past few days, but would you agree you’ve still got issues that need to be sorted out before you go?’

‘Probably,’ I said.

‘How are the cravings at the moment?’

‘Much better when I’m active, like when I’m running, then I don’t think about it.’

‘Then one of the tools you can take out of here is that physical activity helps. How are your mood swings? You mentioned last week you were experiencing feelings of anger and “blackness”, as you described it. Are you still experiencing those?’

‘No . . .’ I swallowed. ‘Those negative thoughts have gotten better . . . yes, they’re better.’

‘So, how do you feel about a visit?’ Fi asked again.

‘Maybe next week?’ I said.

‘Okay. And who would that person be, do you think?’

Aye, there’s the rub, I thought, one of Pa’s favourite Shakespearean quotations floating into my brain. Sadly, the list of potential visitors reflected the low point my life had come to: there was only Ma, who was my mom of sorts, or Maia, or Stella, a grandmother who I’d only met a couple of times when I’d been completely wasted . . .

‘Can I think about that one?’ I said.

‘Of course you can. Is the list quite small?’

‘Very,’ I admitted.

‘How many?’

‘Three.’

‘Well, you may not think that’s a lot, Electra, but I can tell you that by the time most people get here and sit in this room with me and I ask them the same question, they struggle to name anyone. They’ve isolated themselves – pushed people they love and who love them away. Alcohol and drugs have become their only friends. Would you agree with that?’

‘Yup,’ I said, hearing the fear in my voice. ‘I would. Actually, there’s probably a fourth person.’

‘Even better,’ Fi smiled. ‘Who would that be?’

‘Mariam. She’s my PA, but, well, I really, like, admire her.’

‘Does she like you too, do you think?’

‘I . . . I’ve behaved real badly to her, but yes, maybe.’

‘Sometimes it can be good to have someone who is not so directly emotionally attached to you as your first contact. Anyway, you think about it, Electra, and tell me tomorrow.’

‘Okay,’ I agreed.

‘Great, well, keep up the good work,’ she said as I stood up.

‘Thanks. Bye, Fi.’

I walked out of her office feeling almost high and like a child who had just received a gold star from her teacher.

‘Any news on Vanessa?’ I asked Lizzie in the dorm later on that day.

‘No, even I couldn’t prise any information out of the nurse, so I guess not good. You look sparkly today, Electra,’ Lizzie commented as I grabbed my towel from the peg and prepared to go into the shower. ‘What’s been going on?’

‘Like, nothing,’ I said as I stripped off my clothes and pulled the towel around me.

‘Gosh, of all the dorm mates to get in rehab,’ sighed Lizzie, ‘I get stuck with one of the world’s most beautiful women. You seriously have a body to die for. And you eat like a horse and never put on an ounce of weight. I should hate you,’ she chuckled as I walked into the shower and shut the door behind me.

As I stood under the water, I thought about what Lizzie had said just now; I mean, it was hardly anything new, being told that I had a fantastic body. So if I did, why had I been so keen on abusing it?

Maybe it was because I hated it, because it had made others hate me. Most women didn’t trust me, and if they were with a man, I could almost sense their lacquered fingernails tightening their hold on their male as I approached. Besides, I didn’t even think I did have a beautiful face or body – it just happened to look nice in the clothes that were fashionable right now. I’d grown up with a sister who had always been known as the beauty of the family, and if I was asked to describe my image of a perfect woman, it would almost certainly be Maia with her curves, full breasts, glossy dark hair and stunning features.

While I brushed