with the puppies. We can still go together to Gemma’s wedding. But it would be better for both of us if we refrain from any more of...this kind of thing.”
This kind of thing was rapidly becoming an obsession for him. Only now in the intimacy of the night could he admit it to himself. This desire for her had been simmering inside him for a long time. He dreamed about holding her; he ached for it. He thought about it every time he looked out the window and saw her house next door.
Yes. She was absolutely correct. They had to refrain from these moonlight encounters beside the lake.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, not sure what else to say and wishing fiercely that things could be different.
“No. Don’t apologize, Ian. We did nothing wrong. But you have to see that this is a mistake for both of us right now.”
He might know that intellectually but the knowledge didn’t make it any easier to drag himself away from her.
“I do see that. And you’re absolutely right.”
Her sigh echoed through the night, soft and filled with regret. The sound almost made him want to grab her, press her against a tree and kiss her until they both lost their senses and gave in to the heat between them.
Sometimes being a man of honor sincerely sucked. As much as he might want to take advantage of her regret, he couldn’t do that, for her sake or for his own.
She turned toward her house, a clear signal he couldn’t miss. He caught up with her after a few steps and walked her to the door, waiting as she unlocked it and slipped through the doorway.
“Good night,” he said, mostly because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
She looked inside her house, then back at him. He could see she was going through the same internal struggle he was, torn between wisdom and desire.
“One more kiss probably wouldn’t hurt,” she said, not quite meeting his gaze.
She didn’t need to say another word before he lowered his mouth, drinking her in. The door slammed shut behind her but neither of them noticed, lost in each other.
That single kiss turned into another and then another. Finally, more aroused than he remembered being in his life, he stepped away, knowing distance was his only saving grace.
“Walking away from you right now might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he admitted.
“I wish you didn’t have to, but it’s...it’s probably for the best.”
He wasn’t entirely convinced of that.
“I need to say one more thing before you go. It...feels important somehow. I don’t know if that’s only because I need to say it or because you need to hear it.”
“Go ahead,” he said warily.
She shocked him by returning to their conversation of earlier. “Your father isn’t unreasonable, Ian. I only had one evening’s worth of conversation with him, but on initial impression, I liked him very much. I’m sure he’ll be disappointed if you don’t follow in his footsteps but he loves you and I can’t believe he wants you to work with him at the expense of your own dreams. He wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.”
If only the situation were that simple. Ian knew how deeply Henry still grieved for David, not only because he understood a father’s love for his son but because Henry knew what his death meant for Ian. Neither of them had a choice and they both knew it.
Those out of the system didn’t always understand primogeniture, the complicated, mostly archaic inheritance laws of the British nobility.
Henry couldn’t live forever. He needed an heir and Thomas, next in line, was simply too young for the attendant responsibilities that went along with it.
Ian was prepared to do his duty. After a few years, he knew he would probably even begin to enjoy it. His father was a good, responsible land steward who treated everyone fairly and with kindness. Ian would try to follow in his footsteps.
He would do his best to learn all he needed to know before becoming the Earl of Amherst. The earldom and its attendant responsibilities might never be his passion as they had been David’s, but Ian intended to fulfill his responsibilities to the best of his ability.
He loved his family far more than he loved a few salmon.
“Talk to your father,” she urged. “Tell him what’s in your heart.”
The things in his heart right now concerned Samantha and his growing feelings for her, things his father didn’t need to know anything