The Summer I Became a Nerd - By Leah Rae Miller Page 0,43
sort of modern-day philosopher, if you will, but at the moment, the main thing I’m thinking about is what I’d like to say to this chick you have cohosting with you even though you’ve never had a cohost and have probably had a close friend or acquaintance suggest that they cohost, but of course, you turned them down, which is a big, fat load of—”
“Thanks for calling in, Dan-the-man. We’re going to take a quick break before you make your statement to Wonderful Wendy since I’m sure you’d like a little more time to think of the right way to put it. Have a quick listen to this piece about the upcoming NU production of West Side Story, audience.” Logan cues Ben to play the segment.
“Dan, I told you not to call in because this is what always happens,” Logan says, and I realize we can still talk to a caller while the music plays without it being broadcast. “This is a PG-rated show, and you have difficulty saying two words without one of them having something to do with inappropriate parts of an animal’s body.”
“How could I not call in? I asked you just the other day if I could be your cohost, and you said you couldn’t have one, that it was against the rules. I am not happy with you, Awesome Logan, not happy at all. And don’t think for a second I’m fooled by that codename bull-pucky. I know that’s the cheerleader.”
Bull-pucky? That’s a new one. “Why does everyone keep referring to me as the cheerleader? And why won’t you let Dan cohost? I think he’s funny.”
“See! I’m funny, Logan. Wait… I don’t need you to stick up for me, cheerleader.”
“Fine, I won’t!”
“Good, fine!” Dan ends on a squeak.
“Will you two stop fighting?” Logan tugs on my shoulder. I hadn’t realized I’d gotten so close to the mic I was almost touching it with my lips. “She’s not my cohost, she’s a guest. Okay, Dan?”
“Whatever, dude.”
“Do you actually have something to say to her? If not, you’re not going back on-air.”
“Yeah, I have a butt-ton of things to say to her.”
Logan sighs. “Are any of those things rated PG?”
“Yes, mister almighty Awesome Logan, one of them is.”
“I’ll let you stay on then. But, just so you know, I consider ‘butt-ton’ PG-13, so none of that either, okay?” Logan raises his eyebrows.
“I promise. No butt-tons, no donkey butts, no butts of any kind.”
Logan gives Ben a thumbs-up when the piece about the play ends.
“So, we’re still on the line with Dan-the-man who says he’d like to say something to Wonderful Wendy.” Logan closes his eyes like he doesn’t want to see what happens next. “Take it away, Dan-the-man.”
“Thank you for that lead-in, Awesome Logan. You know, we should work together one day. I’m told I’m pretty funny. Anyway, I’d like to say good job, Wonderful Wendy. It takes a lot to be honest and admit you are wrong. I hope this person realizes that and accepts your apology.”
Logan looks at me, mouth hanging open, and I’m sure my expression mirrors his.
I lean in. “Um, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Peace out, bitches!”
Logan just shakes his head. “Thanks for that, Dan-the-man. Listeners, do you agree with what he said? Give us a call and let’s discuss. Now back to the music.”
He turns the mic off again. “So, what are you doing this Saturday?”
I know I must look like a goof, but I can’t hold back my huge smile. “I don’t have any plans.”
“Do you want to hang out?”
“Like a date?”
He pushes his glasses up on his nose with the knuckle of his forefinger. The little gesture is so…him. I wish he’d wear glasses all the time. Honestly, I just want to pull him under the desk and kiss him silly. What would happen to those glasses if I just laid one on him right now? Would it be uncomfortable? Would they get fogged up? Would he whip them off Clark Kent style, revealing the hero behind the disguise?
“Yeah, sure. Maybe I can pick you up and we can get lunch?” He shrugs and pulls at the edging of the table which is close to falling off completely.
“Sounds good. That way, you can meet my parents.”
His hand jerks and rips off a long chunk of flimsy wood. He tosses it into a corner of the room and turns back to me. “Um, okay. That’ll be…awesome.”
I laugh. “Don’t worry, my parents are cool. I mean, my dad will probably want to show off