pull the covers back on the bed. I crawl in, pull them up over my head, and close my eyes. I try not to think of Beck, but that’s virtually impossible. He was so many things to me in such a short period of time. He was a new life.
A fresh start.
A possibility I thought I’d never have.
But right now, he’s the man who just broke me.
Chapter 4
Beck
I pull up to William Halstead’s house in Belle Haven, put the car in park, and cut the ignition. My pulse is hammering, my throat is dry, and my palms are sweating.
That’s because Sela’s in that house and I have no clue if I can fix what I just so carelessly broke several hours ago.
I’ve been going out of my mind all day with worry about her. I went to her apartment and I waited.
For three hours.
She never showed.
I went back to the condo, hoping she’d come there.
She never came.
At my wit’s end, I dialed information and got the home number for William Halstead. Thank fuck he had a landline in a day and age when most people only had cell phones. I called three times, hanging up each time the answering machine came on. He finally answered an hour ago.
“Hello,” he’d said in a booming voice.
“William . . . it’s Beck North,” I feel compelled to identify myself because even though we’ve met that one time before, he probably wouldn’t recognize my voice.
“Beck . . . nice to hear from you,” he said jovially, and by the tone of his voice I could tell Sela wasn’t there. He’d never greet me so nicely otherwise.
“Listen . . . I’m looking for Sela,” I told him, not wanting to beat around the bush. “We had a fight. A bad one, and I can’t find her.”
“I just walked in, but she’s not here,” he said, his tone going from amiable to worried. “When did you last see her?”
“Around ten thirty this morning.”
“Did you try calling—” he started to ask, but then said, “Wait a minute. Her purse is on the table.”
I held my breath and couldn’t hear anything. Several seconds passed, and then he was back on the line, his tone low. “She’s in her room . . . sleeping. What’s going on?”
“I’m on my way there,” I told him, ignoring his question.
“Beck,” William said with worry. “What’s going on?”
“That’s for Sela to tell you, not me. But I’ll be there in less than an hour.” I cannot tell him how that clusterfuck went down, because I have no clue if he knows his daughter was raped. That’s not my place to tell him that.
Silence, then a soft sigh. “Okay. See you soon.”
I hung up, ran out of my condo, and hightailed it down to the garage. Rush hour was winding down but it was hell getting out of San Francisco.
And despite the fact I just had an hour to try to perfect my apology, I was as lost as I’ve ever been in my life. I have no clue how to make up for the fact that I was a supreme douche, and that I pretty much called her a liar about her rape. I can only hope that Sela has a forgiving heart and she lets me try to make it up to her, because I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t have her in my life.
My progress is slow as I make my way up to the house. William has apparently been watching out for me, because he opens the front door and steps out onto the porch, his hands tucked into his pockets. I stop at the end of the walkway and look up at him.
“Is she okay?” I ask hesitantly.
“No clue,” William says, pinning me with a hard look. “I woke her up after you called. I told her you were coming but she’s stayed in her room. I’m giving her space.”
“I can’t give her space right now,” I tell him firmly. No fucking way am I leaving without talking to her.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea—”
“William.” I cut him off. “I was here just three days ago, eating dinner in your house. You told me that Sela sometimes withdraws into herself. You told me if I ever caught her doing that, I had to pull her right back out again. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
“She can be fragile sometimes,” he says softly.
“That’s not something I respected about her today,” I tell him with