I dared to take a step forward. “Hey, boy. Good boy.”
I reached out a hand, but he tossed his head away. It freaked me out enough to step back again, but the action pained me, frustrated me.
And then it hit me.
I wanted the animal to like me.
Ridiculous, but true.
I wanted him to like me, so that she’d like me. Because he was important.
“Hey,” I said again. “Who’s a good boy?”
His eyes bored into me. I took a breath and a step forward, and this time I kept my hand out, even when he moved his head away. “Who’s a good boy? A friendly boy?” I kept my tone light. “Hey, boy, please don’t savage me, hey? Don’t trample me.”
I placed a hand on his neck and he was hot and sweaty, but soft. My heart thumped.
“Good boy.”
I patted him, as though I knew what I was doing. He didn’t move, just stared.
Please, I willed. Please, just like me. Please.
I took deep breaths, gentle steps, until I was close to his side. His ears kept flicking, his weight shifting on his feet.
“Good boy, Samson, that’s a good boy.”
He tossed his head again as I placed a hand on his face, and I pulled away but only a fraction.
“Please,” I whispered. “Please just give me a chance, boy.”
When I put my hand out again he stayed still, and my heart leapt in my chest. I placed my hand on his nose, and he snorted, snuffled. He snuffled me, his nose in my pockets. And then he butted me, like he’d butted Katie.
And I wasn’t scared.
“Good boy!” I said, and wished I had fucking mints. I wished I had a whole truckload of fucking mints.
He butted me again, and I rubbed his ears, and he didn’t mind.
I felt the connection, beast to man, man to beast. He’d taken my measure and I’d done alright. I’d passed whatever horsey paces he’d put me through.
“Good boy, Samson, that’s a good boy.”
I stroked the white stripe on his face and he didn’t flinch.
Didn’t move when I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave the beast a hug, caring fuck all for my suit.
“That’s it,” I whispered. “Friends now.”
It felt seriously fucking good.
I was still petting the brute when I heard Katie’s footsteps on the path. I turned to face her with a smile, patting the horse like we were best fucking buddies.
My stomach was tight and tickly, and a little bit excited, and my heart was full of life.
“He likes me,” I said. “He actually fucking likes me!”
My eyes met hers, hoping for approval and joy and excitement to match mine, but there was nothing of the sort.
Katie’s eyes were puffy and sad. Her cheeks reddened from tears.
“What?” I said, dropping the horse hugs and heading straight for her. “What the hell happened?”
She struggled to speak at first, just took my arms and gripped them with tense fingers. She shook her head and another tear fell.
“Talk to me,” I said. “What is it?”
She took a gulp of air that sounded like a sob.
“It’s Jack,” she said. “The bank… the bank are repossessing, threatening to close the business…” Another tear, and a proper sob this time. “He’s selling the land, he’s got no choice. He’s got to sell it, the stables, the yard. All of it.”
“Ok,” I said. “It’s alright.”
But she was shaking her head. “It’s not alright,” she said. “My dream is over. It’s gone. It’s all fucking gone.”
And then she cried.
She really fucking cried.
She didn’t let me hold her, just brushed her tears aside and busied herself with Samson. I helped as best I could, helping her brush him down before putting his rug on, opening gates, holding a hosepipe while the water trough was filling, but I don’t believe she even noticed. Her thoughts were far away, eyes brimming with tears as they stared into the distance.
I could feel her dreams breaking.
And mine were in my throat, desperate to reach out and grab hers and hold the cracks together.
I watched Samson make his way back down the field, calling out to his horsey friends before he took off into a run, but for once Katie didn’t linger. She was already off, head collar in hand, trudging back across the yard towards the car.
I caught her up, but she said nothing, just hung the collar on its hook by Samson’s stable and gathered up the hosepipe.
“Home?” I said, and she nodded. She climbed up into the